When Everything Is Perfect... Except the Sex

01/05/2014 18:22 BST | Updated 01/07/2014 10:59 BST

If you're dating someone, and they make you so happy in so many different ways, it is easy to overlook or brush to the side the areas of the relationship where you aren't as content. For example, if a man treats you with respect, says and does all the right things, is funny and sensitive and loving, you may be more prone to ignore the fact that you haven't had sex in a month, or when you have, it's been less than thrilling (to say the least).

Many people think that this is just how a relationship has to be, that you can't expect to have it all. While compromise is of the utmost importance, there is one thing you should never be expected to settle on.


More specifically, Good Sex.

When your sex life is lacking, it's like a poison. You might not think it's a big deal at first, but problems in the bedroom tend to breed resentment and insecurity that can filter into every aspect of the relationship. A bad sex life usually doesn't mean you should throw in the towel quite yet though! If both of you are willing to try, your sex life can be fixed. Here are a few top ways to get you started on the path to perfect sex...make sure to have lots of fun trying!

1. Communicate

If you are otherwise happy in the relationship, your partner might have zero idea that you wish your physical connection was stronger. Instead of just settling for a life of bad sex, speak up! Give him (or her) a chance to step up to the plate, so to speak. When you have this conversation, remember that your partner is obviously trying hard to make you happy on a daily basis, so don't yell at them or accuse them of being bad in the sack straight away. It's important to be honest about what you like and dislike sexually, and then give them time and ample opportunity to make it right.

2. Show, Not Tell

There is only so much talking you can do. Sometimes less words, more action will get you a lot farther. Instead of putting all the blame of your ho-hum sex life on your partner, take some responsibility-and take matters into your own hands! This is not the time to be shy, you're fighting for your relationship here! Don't wait for your partner to approach you for sex, he isn't a mind-reader. Taking control of your sex life will take some of the pressure off of your partner, and he'll be ever so happy to follow your lead. Bust out all of the back-up you need-toys, props, games, food... do what you gotta do!

3. Make the Hard Decision

Ultimately, good sex is a non-negotiable and you can't fake chemistry. No matter how perfect the rest of the relationship is, if you and your partner are not sexually compatible it might be a doomed romance from the start. Of course, this isn't an easy decision and not one you should make after one night of bad sex. Months or even years of bad sex on the other hand? Yes.