14/09/2012 08:03 BST | Updated 13/11/2012 05:12 GMT

Tame the Zilla

Guest list dramas, delivery dates, seating plans...

Chances are, if you're in the midst of planning a wedding, then you'll be up to your neck in wedding administration or 'wedmin', and perhaps even trying to juggle different opinions and emotions, alongside attending to the life you had before you got engaged.

Aside from all the paperwork, emails and telephone calls, you may feel a tad isolated for fear of being labelled a 'Zilla' if you so much as even sigh about it.

There is this strange mindset that those getting married should be a 'blushing' picture of serenity, and while it might be the case for some, for most people it just isn't that simple.

Obviously, a wedding is a life-changing event, and so it is only natural to feel the strain at times. But too much strain can leave you feeling exhausted and drained, and this could have a detrimental effect on your wellbeing, which in turn could cast a dark cloud over the start of married life.

So what can be done about it?

Having been through the process myself, and experienced an unbelievable amount of cortisol pulsating through my temples, I can vouch for the need to keep it all in-check, and so I have put together a set of useful tips that could help to keep the pesky hormone under control.

First and foremost, it is vital to acknowledge that the two most important people at the wedding are, obviously, you and your partner. Your wedding is a celebration of your love and commitment to each other; you must not lose sight of this. Nurture and care for your love and always put each other first.

However, there is only one exception to this rule, and that is the need to, when necessary, focus solely on yourself. Nobody wants you to turn into a frazzled mess, certainly not your partner.

That is why it is super-important that you make time for relaxing. Turn off the phone and allow for contemplation of what is actually happening, and reflect on your relationship and what it means to you.

If you're thinking uncomfortable thoughts, then try writing them down somewhere and give your brain a break. If you have a trusted confidant, talk it over with them. If you suppress the awkward thoughts they will only continue to dominate your other more pleasant thoughts. As with anything, it's better to face it head-on and deal with it.

When it comes to planning, accept that there is only so much that can be done. Focus on the key things first and you'll be able to continue with the finer details safe in the knowledge that, at the very least, a wedding will take place.

Set some non-planning time into your preparations and arrange to do something that you enjoy. Whatever you do, try not to focus on the wedding.

If possible, plan a few things to do after the wedding and Honeymoon. After all, the wedding day marks the start of a new life together. It doesn't have to involve lots of money - it could be something as simple as a picnic.

Talk to your partner about starting a new tradition together. By doing romantic things when the wedding is over, you can keep hold of that special 'just married' feeling. For instance, you might arrange a monthly country walk or a weekly dinner-date. The aim is to focus on doing something meaningful as a couple and protecting this precious time.

On the wedding day itself, try to savour every moment. It will all be over before you know it, so try to take in every detail: the sights, sounds and smiles.

Finally, remember your wedding day is not an event designed to keep everyone you know happy and content.

It is solely about the two of you, your love and your future together.

Good luck!