THE BLOG
16/11/2017 08:28 GMT | Updated 16/11/2017 08:28 GMT

Letting Go...

Over many years I've attended talks, read books and had intense discussions about how to Let Go. I've also conversed/interviewed numerous experts and teachers in the field. Although these experiences have helped me intellectually, I've not connected emotionally. By that, I mean I get it, but I don't feel it. And for me feeling it is key to me being able to take any positive action. What I've discovered is that in order for me to really let go, my mind needs to be in the present, not the past or the future. This means being totally focused in the now. It takes much discipline, sacrifice and being fully engaged with whatever the task may be. It's our determination to complete that enables us to remain focused. This determination will disallow any interference. Therefore, letting go becomes an outcome - it almost occurs by osmosis.

I still find it challenging to completely let go of past hurts, disappointments, selfish individuals and disloyalty. This has often occurred because although my intuition is saying no, the eager-to-please me has responded with yes. However, these events are no longer in my life, they are in the past. And if I continue to revisit my past, my present will be diluted. Think of it this way, if when driving we focus on the rear view mirror, we are prevented from seeing what's in front of us. This analogy works for me, because it's practical, doable and relatable. Important to remember, we can't change the past, and the future hasn't happened. Being in the moment is all we have, so make the most of it. I know this is easier said than done. I think this quote helps: "Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it". - Ann Landers

As Ms Landers says, '... then do it'. Thing is, for many actually getting on with it is too much of a challenge. It's as if it's easier not to change, because it seems to be comfortable. If we remain as we are and nothing changes, we deny ourselves of any personal growth. And without growth our lives just become boring, empty and emotionally stuck. It takes a brave person to bring about change, taking risks and trusting ourselves is vital. Self-trust is a combination of experience, intuition, courage, believing in yourself and to a degree, being dogmatic. It's about never giving up, having patience with yourself and trusting your instincts. An important reminder - never underestimate your ability to move forward. As eventually, you will feel free to spread your wings because you'll be less restricted.

Love this quote:You've got to make a conscious choice every day to shed the old - whatever "the old" means for you. - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Some tips:

- Focus on the now.

- Don't just look backwards

- Learn how to be more emotionally mature

- Asking for help is a strength not a weakness

- Trust your instincts

- Believe in yourself