At the age of 26 my wife had walked out the door on our three year marriage. As I sat in our apartment surrounded by the life that we had built together my thoughts turned to a dark bleak future that I did not want to face. In a severe state of depression I turned to google and typed in the search term 'most painless and quickest way to die'.
I will never forget waking up in hospital the next morning with a dark cloud over my head re- calling the events of the day before. Less than 24 hours earlier I had been at my darkest place, I had tried to wipe my existence off the face of the planet. I want to share with you six reasons why trying to end my life was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
You may not have tried to take your own life, however, you may have considered doing so - no matter how fleeting those thoughts were. Alternatively, you may be living your life on a treadmill as you go through the motions just to keep yourself distracted from the reality that something in your life has died - a relationship, a career aspiration or a hope for something better. You struggle with your own 'thorn in your flesh' which causes you pain, depression and feelings of hopelessness.
I want to challenge you to ensure that the pain that you are experiencing becomes the catalyst for your own life change revolution.
1) We live life once - the revelation. Trying to take my own life was my wake up call to the awesome truth that life is a precious gift that we can only use once and so we should live it well.
2) The principle of leverage. Before this day my life was a mess. My marriage had struggled for almost a year and a half. I had turned to drinking alcohol as a comfort to numb the pain. I was living the life that everyone else's wanted me to live. On the day of my attempted suicide I got to a place where the pain of remaining in the situation that I was in was greater than the pain it took to change. This was the leverage I needed to dedicate myself to living the life that I was created to live.
3) The re-framing of my situation. I had peered into my future and saw a dark, lonely and depressing world which I refused to walk into. After this event I gained a new perspective. I had the opportunity to start again, to view my life as a blank canvas on which I could paint whatever picture I desired. From this day forward no matter what situation I would face - another failed relationship, bankruptcy, the loss of a job - it could never be worse than removing myself from this incredible planet.
4) I quit my story. We all have a story that we tell the world. Our 'story' is designed to garner sympathy, to get a reaction and to have our need to be loved met in a negative way. My story was that of a guy whose marriage was not working out, who had turned to drink and was depressed. I made a decision to destroy my negative story and to create a positive new narrative - I became the guy who wants to empower you to change your world.
5) Super-hero confidence. It was my belief that if I had the 'balls' to try to take my own life then I could grow super-hero confidence to take life on - to shape it, mould it, create it and play with it. Only 3 months after trying to take my own life I created a business, Tribewanted, which was featured in media around the world including The Today Show and Good Morning America. Tribewanted was also filmed for 18 months and became a prime time show that aired in the UK, America and Australia.
6) I decided to change the world. From that day forward I made a decision to empower every single person that I encounter to change their life, to change their community and to change the world. I continue to do this in my role as 'Life Change Instigator'.
No matter what your life circumstance currently is deep within you is the power to turn it all around and start to live the life that you were created to live, a life that makes you wake up every morning with passion and energy ready to take on the day. Is this the life that you wish to live? The choice is yours.
Mark Bowness is passionate about changing people's lives. After trying to take his own life, he made a New Year's Resolution to totally turn his life around, and only three months later, he had created an international business which was featured in media around the world and became a five part time series that aired in the UK, America and Australia on BBC. He is the founder of New Year's Revolution, an embracing community for people ready to create total transformation in their lives. This year Mark has brought together 31 life-change experts who have created a FREE eBook, Webinar and community that will empower YOU to radically transform your life in 2014.