Heartbreak. Sucks. Big time.
When my boyfriend and I split up just after Christmas, I felt like my world had fallen apart. In fact, I'll be honest with you, I still do. It's incredibly raw.
Not only have I been hit with the realisation that I'm soon to lose my best friend, but there's also the impending doom of having to find somewhere new to live, as well as constantly being plagued by a feeling of intense loneliness - the realisation that all of my closest friends are back in the Midlands, far away, has never felt so apparent.
I've got to admit, for the past few weeks it's been tough. I've sat around, moped, cried, laughed at myself crying, got mad, listened to sad music on Spotify (and occasionally Phil Collins, don't judge me) and have spent a good number of hours just mulling things over.
Wondering where everything went wrong, if there's any way this can be revived, thinking about what life is going to be like from now on and how I'll cope. Basically, I've been a real bundle of joy.
But, as people keep saying: "Everything happens for a reason". And if this is true then I've decided that it's time to embrace life as a single person.
Relationships are great, but they can also chip away at your personality until you and your other half become like some strange merged personality rather than your own separate entities. Now, I'm ready to become me again - one whole, rather than a half.
To help me, I've drawn up a number of ways in which I'm going to embrace life as of now - like becoming a belly dancer and learning to drive monster trucks. Just kidding. But in all seriousness, here's my action plan for the next couple of months:
1) Get fit
Believe it or not but back in the day I used to be a regular gym-goer. I was hitting the rowing machines and cross trainers hard. I even had muscle! Yep, real muscle rather than the wobbly stuff it's been replaced with. That was a fair while ago though and I haven't really made much of an effort to stick to a fitness routine since. As much as I hate to admit it, I got comfortable.
When you're forever writing about the benefits of health and fitness, the fact that you're doing pretty crap in the exercise stakes becomes hard to ignore. Now it's time to take a leaf out of my own book. I'm going to swallow all of this fitness wisdom and begin running - I've even downloaded an app to get me started (steady on). Obviously I'm not going to become a marathon runner over night, but these baby steps should help me on my way to feeling better about myself.
Plus, it will take my mind off things. Oh, and I need an excuse to wear my new FLUORESCENT trainers.
2) Meet new people
When I moved to London four months ago, I had a grand total of three friends living in the big city - my boyfriend included. I moved straight in with him and, regrettably, wasn't really pushed out of my comfort zone when it came to meeting new people. The reason? I didn't feel the need to.
I'd met some great people at work, I (obviously) knew my boyfriend, I knew our housemates, I knew a group of people who I'd interned with previously - and who I've become really good friends with - and, for me, that was enough.
Now, however, I'm beginning to realise that you can never have too many friends. So, I've decided to move to South London (where nobody that I know lives) with the aim of meeting lots of new people and starting fresh on the friend front. It's pretty scary business but I think I'll be okay.
3) Plan a trip (or five)
Right now, I feel like a holiday and a few weekend breaks wouldn't go amiss. 2015 has started off very bleak, with not much to look forward to besides my job and - between you and me - I don't want to become that girl who's all work and no play.
So, I'm planning a break away with my family to somewhere hot - and where the cocktails are plentiful. I've also scheduled in various weekend trips to go and see friends who are dotted around the country. It has given me something to look forward to and I'll get the chance to catch up with people who, sadly, I've seen less of since moving to London.
High five to that!
4) Indulge in a Netflix marathon
Okay, it's not a major life change but it's certainly achievable. Single life means more time to myself. And more time to myself means a hella lot more time for Netflix - hellooooo numerous Friends episodes.
5) Learn to knit
I've been meaning to do this for a while now and I genuinely believe it would be a pretty therapeutic hobby. My gran tried to teach me to knit back in the day when I had zero patience. As you can imagine, eleven-year-old me wasn't having any of it - I was far more interested in the wonders of MSN messenger.
Seeing as I've got the tea addict/crazy cat lady badge, I think learning to knit will make me a real life twenty-something grandma. Maybe they'll write features about me one day. Orrrrrr maybe they won't.
Anyhow, it's a cool hobby to have and I've set my sights on knitting
my cat a blanket myself a hat.
6) Get baking
Apparently baking is a great way to relieve stress. So, with this in mind, I'm going to put my (pretty terrible) baking skills to the test and see if it's as successful with breakup-induced stress. Being a human biscuit barrel, I think it's only right that baking those delicious little treats is added to my 'embracing life' agenda.
Besides, it's a genuine interest and I get to eat them afterwards. Amen to that.