02/06/2017 07:36 BST | Updated 02/06/2017 07:36 BST

News Flash: Love Isn't A Fairytale


Growing up, and indeed as an adult actually, when you immerse yourself in the world of cinematic delight, you will find that any romantic stories climax with the end of the chase. Cartoon films you adoringly watched as a child that featured a princess and a prince finished at the point they either shared their first kiss or the when they got married and lived 'happily ever after'.

I believe filmmakers really need to start making realistic sequels i.e. Beauty and the Beast II - The Revenge of the Sock Fluff or Aladdin: Escape From the Doghouse because let's be serious, relationships are bloody hard work aren't they?

I am not angling to diss men here and favour the females' point of view on this (even though we're better), at times it is difficult for both sides of the cohabiting team. I am the first to admit that if you mess with me when I am hormonal you will regret it very quickly and my husband is equally quick to admit he is a grumpy bugger.

Sharing your life with another person is hard no matter who they are, even if you love each other and have been together long enough to know each other's little quirks and bad habits. You get to know that there are things that you do which you feel are totally normal but the other one doesn't and you get to learn the best ways of working around each other's differences or dislikes.

I am of course not dissing rom-coms and Disney films. I still love them even to this day, not quite as much as I did as an innocent, romantic teenage girl perhaps, but romance still exists in long long (long) term relationships just in different ways. In the beginning the romance is obvious, powered by lust and excitement, one person is trying to woo another. Each party is portraying the best version of themselves to sell to the other that they're a good catch, which of course they are, the other person just doesn't need to know at this stage that you secretly bite your toenails or sing on the toilet. Right now, at this early stage we want to be perceived as perfect and nothing but. That is why we woo.

Later down the line when it all gets a bit familiar it can become a bit humdrum, that's when the hard work starts. Like anything else in life everything is exciting when it is new to us from a new outfit or phone to a new job, but once you get used to it it doesn't have the same impact (yes I did just compare relationships to a new phone). Romance is shown in other gestures such as remembering to record the others favourite programme even though you hate it or putting the kettle on when they get in from a stressful day.

Because everyone's lives are entered online it can come across that someone else's relationship is perfect and yours is not, whether it is a celebrity (unobtainable relationship goals anyway) or a work colleague. Growing up with social media and not knowing a world any different means that teenagers are bombarded with images of perfection from all angles, one of them being relationships. A friend's relationship as viewed online can appear glossy and perfect, full of love, affection and adventure but no relationship is perfect. I find myself having to remember this even as 32 year old woman whose teenage love life existed before Facebook.

What people don't ever share online is the huge argument they had before that perfect romantic meal snap (well some people share that stuff too but the less said about them the better). Nobody shares their money worries or the fact their car may need fixing and they don't know how to pay for it. Nobody shares the fact they can't stand the other one's snoring or the fact their partner is always saying they will only pop out for just 'a couple' only to not show up again until the early hours doing the Macarena.

Yes it is nice just to share the frills and pretty bits. Personally I don't want to see other people's dirty laundry, so I know no one wants to see mine. Just be mindful when you're feeling a bit crap or your relationship is particularly hard work (cos sometimes it will be) that yeah, everyone else looks like they have it sussed, but deep down we are all the same.

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