22/08/2016 09:21 BST | Updated 20/08/2017 06:12 BST

Make Good Choices.... Basically No-one Ever Did


When bad photos happen to good people... #fail

Very occasionally (ok quite often), advice that I have stoically ignored turns out to be right.

Largely, the culprit tends to be some sort of flawed logic based on a string of wild assumptions and poorly though-through plans.

To be fair, it's pretty unheard of that my spontaneous assumptions end well. Take the catastrophic assumption that Sandhurst would be easy. I mean, wtf.

So, I think I finally concede that I need to stop making assumptions. Because, turns out there is a very good reason why my bedroom window has (had) thick old-school curtains. And that everyone who told me to leave them alone was right.

But I'm undergoing a home improvement streak, so...


Here's the things you cannot do at night without curtains. And trust me I know...

In-room work-outs - I'm seriously into HIIT, especially when it's cold and wet outside. Until now, I've been doing them wedged into the minimal clear floor space in my room. The shame of prancing around in my underwear to bad music and calling it training might just force me on a run instead.


Fake tanning - Getting fully naked anywhere near the window is now definately out of the question, which means I will be mostly tan-free for the forseable. Which is a bit of a drama, since my natural colour is something slightly ghostly. Consequent research has lead me to St Tropez's in-shower gradual tan, though, so there may be hope yet.


Sleep - A frankly laughable suggestion now that the bright lights of London are streaming in through my window. Good thing it's my bedroom then.... Oh man.