"I love you so much sweetheart, you have been soooo good today. Your knackered mummy feels that for once she knows her head from her arsehole. And my darling even if it all goes tits up tomorrow, we will always have today!"
Oh yes, motherhood for the majority of us, for the majority of days is a total shit fight and one which we feel has us getting our knackered mummy asses kicked all over the playmat by our tiny human. How-bloody-ever there are the days, those blissful, heaven sent days where you find yourself slapping yourself on your happy-at- last ass, throwing open the windows and shouting:
"In your face Motherhood, today is mine! The baby is fed, the baby is content, the baby is asleep. This mum is therefore, happy to the point of hysteria and in celebration will be doing the running man, naked around the living room whilst showing you the v's. I have this shit down!"
We all know how hard it is being a mum and at times how bloody isolating and downright scary it can be. Before you know it the days can merge into the longest 24 hours of your life as you scream to the universe to give you a break and just hand over the ancient code, mythical ritual or whatever the hell it is that you need to be doing to get your baby to sleep for longer than 20 mins at a time, to stop screaming, to stop feeding and to just generally make you feel like you have finally cracked this thing called motherhood.
Then along comes a good day where for reasons unbeknown to yourself, everything and I mean everything, miraculously falls into place. You don't know what the hell you have done differently or how you are going to replicate it, but your tiny human has actually slept for more than two hours at a time and dare you say it (for fear the cruel nappy Gods will whip it away from you) that you feel slightly more human...refreshed even! (afterall you have not slept for three hours straight since labour day).
For once the feed schedule you have tirelessly tried and beaten yourself up over when it failed, has started to stick giving your day some kind of shape. For once you feel like you have some control back. That your day is not just one long feeding session and that you have finally took a step towards some form of routine.
After days of your baby screaming relentlessly, wearing down your patience and nervous system, they and their lungs have finally called a cease fire in favour of gurgling at you with smiles of delight and milky kisses. Even your toddler has dropped the tiny diva act and is no longer acting as though a fury unbeknown to mankind lurks below and waiting to strike at any given moment.
And because these huge hurdles we jump over everyday seem a little easier to clear and because our tiny humans seem a little easier to appease, everything from the dirty nappies and housework to the long nights and mummy insecurities are that little bit easier to deal with. We suddenly have a bit of space to breathe and take a step back and finally see ourselves for what we are - Amazing women becoming amazing mums regardless of the shit thrown at us and regardless of the bad days where we beat ourselves up for (in our minds) not quite making the mark.
After what feels like an eternity you finally feel on top of motherhood and in turn on top of the world. You were made for this job and you are not as under qualified as your anxieties first had you believe. For once you realise that you are doing everything right and you have the light bulb moment that as long as your tiny human is loved and safe then you cannot do any wrong.
Yes, for the first time in a long time you have some clarity and are proud of yourself. You, my friend are winning this game of dirty bums, snotty noses and screaming mouths and it feels bloody amazing!
For all you ladies currently having your good day, grab it by the balls and enjoy every last minute of it. Hold onto the memory of it to get you through even the shittiest of days motherhood may decide to throw at you at a later date. And for all you lovely mums out there having one of the "I just want to give up" and "I don't know what the hell I'm doing" days; Just you hang on in there sister! You may feel like you are only just surviving and it may feel like you are the only one struggling through, however, you are doing a bloody amazing job and the fact you are a mum means you are already kicking an ass of the motherhood variety! Keep up the good work!
Want to discuss how you are feeling about being a mum, warts and all, NO JUDGEMENT? Come join the No Bullshit Mum Revolution and pop into The Confessional to chat to other likeminded and straight talking mums, follow us on Twitter @thebabybible find us on Facebook and join us on the closed Facebook Group by sending your email address to Olivia@the-baby-bible.com All mums welcome!