05/12/2013 06:47 GMT | Updated 03/02/2014 05:59 GMT

What Kind of Week Has It Been? 6 December 2013

The zeitgeisty Christmas decoration of news.

It's almost on a daily basis nowadays that someone, somewhere doesn't have cause to think to yourself "How is this news?". But this week has had a few instances that extend a bit beyond the usual shout at the rain, back-in-my-day-we-had-to-walk-six-miles-to-get-news sort of rant.

This week, Tom Daley did something that was both very important and completely irrelevant. He announced he was seeing someone who made him very happy. That person happens to be a bloke. So now, everyone else wants to see him too. Or at least find out who he is. Most people were very supportive, some were incandescent with rage to a degree that is psychologically significant. Just how many medals do you have to flash to distract some people to social hangups and tittle tattle?

Similarly, the announcement by Sinn Fein that they are running a candidate in next year's local elections in west Dublin should at this point only be registering on the radar of the Swingometer set, but instead it viewed thousands of times on The Journal. Why? Because he was a black man, and not born in Dublin. Inevitably, despite most people who live in Dublin not being from Dublin, the comments discussion became a depressing cesspit.

Staying in Ireland, across in the usually free-wheeling west coast bastion of Galway University, the sort of place Tom Daley could take an ocean dip with his boyfriend with impunity, the Legion of Mary Society on campus (yup, turns out that's a thing) started putting up posters with the laughable name The Courage Community, helpfully suggesting that they'd help anyone struggling with homosexual urges and pray them away. Or something. The University responded by suspending the Legion of Mary Society, thus answering the prayers of everyone else.

In much more typical behaviour for Galway students, some revellers went viral this week when they nicked a carpet from one of the town's many fine hostelries and foam party locations. The management, indicative of a business savvy for quirky PR that is as impressive as it's becoming pervasive, issued a challenge: return it without them noticing and get VIP treatment. Return it red handed and get barred.

No such double or nothing proposition has been put to the young man at University College, Dublin who wants to disaffiliate from his Student's Union because of their stance on abortion. And he's prepared to go to faintly ridiculous lengths to exercise his right to deny women theirs. You can tell he's serious too: look how miffed he seems in this photo!

And finally in Ireland, it's not just students who are getting outspoken, weather presenter Evelyn Cusack is taking to using her forecast times to lay some home truths down. Why? Because science.

There's not much I wouldn't give to see Ron Burgundy appear on my local news and weather bulletins, but that's exactly what has been happening in the States, as the man himself read the news for real in North Dakota. Thankfully, the autocue seemed to cause no problems.

While the publicity machine has been something of a masterstroke for San Diago's finest, that other cultural colossus Grand Theft Auto has come under a bit of legal misfortune, as Lindsay Lohan has claimed that an image of a lady on the front cover looks an awful lot like her. Even though it was absolutely modelled on this woman. If she'd claimed her rap sheet was used to inspire the game, she'd probably have a better case.

Finally, as this is the last regular What Kind Of Week before Christmas, I have to mention the fair town of Stockton, and its utterly shitty Christmas tree. It's a testament to people who've really stopped trying and whose minds are elsewhere, and what could be a better monument to the month of December than that?