09/01/2014 09:41 GMT | Updated 10/03/2014 05:59 GMT

What Kind of Week Has It Been? 10 January 2014

The papal sheep draped daringly over the shoulder of news.

2013 is now done with, like so many turkey carcasses, Roses tins and Christmas specials (unless they're on Dave, of course). So while the R&D department at Mattel feel the pressure of having only one more year before everyone wants a hoverboard, the rest of us have to contend with the kind of weather that have made these isles look like a Kevin Costner movie set. Or if you're in North America, like a Jake Gyllenhall set. On the plus side though, it's made it a great week for photos of storms and waves, and Vines of frozen trampolines and cool stuff like this.

While the inclement weather tore up pavements, submerged cars and had meteorologists running out of brightly coloured markers, the perennial snow of the French Alps has perilously injured one of the world's greatest sportsmen and most capable daredevils, Michael Schumacher. We wish him a full, speedy recovery,

Nick Griffin's spokesman wasn't quite so kind when he invoked Schumi's health after announcing his boss has become financially bankcrupt, to add to the many other forms of bankcrupt Nick Griffin is. "(Schumacher would) do anything to be in Nick's position now wouldn't he?" asked the publicist / complete bollocks. There's more chance of getting good taste from licking the inside of a fridge.

Meanwhile in Ireland a series of altogether more pleasant political misfits who really really miss Borgen being on TV appear to be mobilising a new...something. The Reform Alliance, which is mostly made up of renegade Fine Gael members who took exception to last year's abortion legislation, insists it's not a political party as such, but now they're hosting a conference so that people know they're interested in...other stuff? This being their first conference they're obviously looking for big attendance and casting the net wide for attendees, though not wide enough for Jim Corr, who despite rumours to the contrary is not invited. Why would it be so mad to invite him? Well, just have a look.

Say what you want about Jim Corr and his conspiracy theories, but at least his highest profile public role was as bassist to three hot sisters, and not, say, a former Canadian Defence Minister. Paul Hellyer was exactly that in the 1960's, and not only think aliens are real but have given us the likes of microchips and LED light, and would probably give us more if we'd just stop fighting each other. This, it seems, is why we can't have nice alien things. Speaking of self-defeating human conflict, the city of Limerick is all over the shop as nobody has been able to run their attempt at being the first national City of Culture, because no country can seem to do anything arts-based without a yearly title now. Unless of course, this is some kind of challenging avant garde ensemble piece. In Donegal things are even more dire, as the County Council has failed to pass a budget, and under Irish rules now become subject to rule of The Hunger Games. Sorry, an appointed administrator. I propose the ethereal calm of our finest export, Enya.

In Zambia the chain of command is a lot clearer, as the police had a political rival of the Presiden Michael Sata jailed for calling him, wait for it, a "sweet potato". And speaking of bizarre political disputes, Mayor of London and toy you used to put at the top of pencils Boris Johnson has referred to future former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg as Cameron's condom in government, "a prophylactic protection device for all the difficult things David Cameron has to do". Poor Nick, always getting ribbed.