Time was in Primary School, students' pictures of February would be represented by snowdrops and whatnot. But that's unlikely to happen nowadays, as 1) Michael Gove would replace art with testing the shit out of everything if he had half a chance and 2) early Spring vistas more closely resembles a busy Saturday car park in Atlantis. Things have got so bad in some parts of the West Country that Prince Charles was dispatched to provide some emergency sympathy. Anything else has been in short supply.
On a more unlikely meteorological note, The Weather Girls found themselves back in the Top 40 this weekend in response to the UKIP councillor (where would we be without them, really?) who claimed the rough weather was something something something gay marriage? Equality has had a week of oscillating fortunes. In Russia, the Sort Of Olympics get cracking this week in Sochi, and unfortunately, so do their homophobic roughs. And while Scotland have made same sex marriage legal, the Irish national broadcaster has had such a faint heart it's in dire need of digitallis.
After the drag queen Panti Bliss made comments on a chat show describing high profile Catholic commentators at the Iona Institute (Ireland's closest organisation to this) as homophobic, RTE paid said commentators 80 grand to stop legal action being taken. It's not that the Iona Institute Players are homophobes, ya see, it's just that they think gay people being allowed to marry or have kids of their own is sinkhole-level dangerous. As is often the case, some people don't know the difference between freedom of speech and freedom from being challenged. Panti's side of the story - and post-theatre speech addressing the whole debacle - has gone round the world from the European Parliament to Graham Norton's Twitter account, and with good reason.
Over in the States there too was plenty to be depressed about discourse wise, as one of America's premier TV events - a series of adverts punctuated by men in helmets crashing in to each other - saw a mesmerisingly stupid backlash due to an ad for Coca Cola. Turns out singing America The Beautiful in languages that aren't English makes Al Qaeda all beamy inside or something. Incidentally, the Superbowl was won by the Seahawks in such a way that explains why Homer Simpson didn't think much of the Denver Broncos.
Much more unanimously approved clip fare was available elsewhere though, as Sesame Street rented the use of Benedict Sherlock's (their phrase, not mine) Mind Palace for a skit on counting fruit. It's already got up to 1.7, 1.7 million hits! Ah! Ah! Ah! While Sesame Street are always on the money a much less likely source of viral gold this week came from Co Leitrim, where rural Irish stereotypes of comically blunt language, parsimony and light misogyny were stretched to breaking point.
Luckily for the lad in the video, despite his trickery he at least had his own means of conveyance, a luxury Londoners didn't exactly have midweek owing to tube strikes. It's all fun and games when Bob and Boris are shouting on the radio, but things become very real when you get a face load of this after you leave the office. I've said it before and I'll say it again, eco-friendly jetpacks are the way forward. Also, backward and side to side.