08/06/2017 08:17 BST | Updated 08/06/2017 08:17 BST

Five Hard Truths We All Need To Accept To Get Stronger

What is the hardest truth you had to accept that made you stronger? originally appeared on Quora - the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.

Answer by Nela Canovic, writer, productivity hacker, and entrepreneur:

Here's one important part about truth to keep in mind:

It's not just about coming face to face with it that matters, it's what you do with it once you find it out. In other words, you shift your mindset from believing that life happens to you (which keeps you in a passive state of mind), to believing that you control how life affects you (which makes you feel much more proactive about it!).

Here are 5 tough truths that I accepted, and how they helped shift my mindset to make me stronger.

  • When the going gets tough, people often disappear. It can be a life-changing event, a personal crisis, or you just started a tough job or school program. And your friends are too busy with their lives, they don't know how to handle problems or give advice, or they'd just rather go do something fun. The upside? You learn to be self-reliant. You become more resourceful in finding solutions. You get mentally tougher.
  • You can't expect your environment to take care of you. That goes for any larger or smaller social circle, from your neighborhood to your circle of friends. The upside? This can push you to get out of your comfort zone so you can grow. It's beneficial because chances are you'll move around, live in different locations, and work in multiple places during your life.
  • Experiencing loss is something we will all have to go through at some point in our lives. You can't avoid it. The upside? It will force you to change your perspective on what is important and what isn't. It may impact your life philosophy and how you see your life path. And it may even change the way you see yourself and what you're capable of.
  • People cannot read your mind. You have to spell things out for them. The upside? You move away from having expectations that you'll be understood, catered to, or taken care of. Instead, to get your message across, you start growing your voice, like you would grow any other muscle in your body. It's a skill that can be honed.
  • Life is unpredictable. There will be challenges you never even dreamed of that will enter your life. And no matter how much you struggle with this, it will keep happening. That's what growth feels like. The upside? You learn to move beyond a fixed mindset and towards a growth mindset. You put yourself in learning mode so that you can be more flexible and adapt to your environment and whatever life throws your way. And you do it with dignity and self-respect.