14/10/2011 20:00 BST | Updated 14/12/2011 05:12 GMT

Maternity Fashion Matters

My baby bump has popped out! The Tiny Guest is not so tiny anymore!!!

And about sodding time I say: I've been waiting four months for this and I'm very excited. However, it does pose a few dilemmas. I have now grown out of pretty much everything in my wardrobe but I'm still a bit too small to get into proper maternity clothes. Today I'm wearing some leggings but I've had to put them underneath the bulging tummy then cover up with the smockiest frock I have in my wardrobe. I've got a feeling I'm going to get a bit bored of this dress ;(.

When I got dressed this morning, I tried on a couple of long, tight jumpers but really, I looked like I was suffering a particularly bad bout of trapped wind in those so I will have to wait until there is NO DOUBT there is a baby in there before I go down the body con route. If indeed, I do at all. Where do we stand on maternity fashion girls?

Things have changed massively in a couple of decades and we've gone from this:

To this:

To this:

In a relatively short space of time.

I have to remember that I am not a young MILF but I also don't want to don a mumu or I'll look like a Weeble (I'll wobble, but I won't fall down ;)). Yes, there is a happy medium between the two and I need to find it. Topshop maternity looks like a good bet and I shall be heading to M&S for the basics (already a trusty friend in the scanties department: it's where I ended up getting measured and getting some 34DD (!) bras last week. Comfort. FINALLY). I'm also going to head to Dorothy Perkins because they're so damn friendly in there! And I've already got my eye on some stripey tops over some skinny jeans from New Look. Blimey! I better start saving.

It feels very odd to be losing such massive swathes of my wardrobe in such a small space of time and I'm really hoping that one day I will be able to reclaim all the lovely stuff that I now gaze longingly at before a night out. My neighbour Matt said to me the other day: "So you've probably said goodbye to the thinnest version of you forever now haven't you?"

Aaaggghhhhh! I bloody hope not, I've got a sodding wedding dress to get into next December and I'm damned if I'm going to spend the rest of my life looking at photos of myself looking like the aforementioned Weeble in a posh frock. Hell to the No.

I guess that he's partly right. We wave goodbye to the best versions of ourselves in our mid 30s and that's without figuring in the ravages of child bearing on our bodies! But I have to say, most of my mummy friends are looking pretty good having popped out a couple of the little blighters and in the short term, I can't think of a better reason to get the Tiny Guest onto my breast: apparently, breast feeding burns approximately 500 calories a day! My friend Carrie said she could literally feel her womb contracting with each baby suck. Wow! Isn't nature clever?

So, yes, the bump has arrived. The mild morning sickness I was experiencing is all but gone (though I confess I just had a moment of quease and had to neck a packet of Worcester sauce flavour French Fries. They saw off that nauseous bad boy ;))

It literally arrived overnight. When I woke up this morning I noticed that my tummy had taken on an altogether more firm feel and there's no way I can hold it in now. Anyway, I got my neighbour Suzie to take pictorial evidence for you to enjoy. Please excuse my unmade up face and hair (and 1990s tramp stamp) but I'm having a 'home day' so mascara can do one, frankly!

So, I must away to spend some time on my non baby blog. You can see what else I've been up to (if you're interested) at It's mainly birthday cake baking and wedding show nonsense. Enjoy!