14/02/2012 04:53 GMT | Updated 14/04/2012 06:12 BST

Single on Valentine's Day? Enjoy Your Freedom!

Today officially sucks if you are a single girl. Not so much if you are a single guy since frustrated, pissed off single women are ripe for the picking this evening and mercenary bad boys will probably fully capitalise on this, so single ladies, watch your backs and don't end up on them (unless you want to, in which case, keep it safe ;) !)

I am not single but I was for six long years until 18 months ago (so don't hate on me too much eh ladies?) and Valentine's Day used to drive me up the wall. I would pace the streets of London, scowling at the smug women with their bouquets from their adoring boyfriends. I would throw medusa-like glares in through the steamed up windows of posh eateries packed with loved up couples as I headed home with a ready meal and a bottle of Pinot Grigio I fully intended to drink the whole of stashed in my bag. Valentine's Day quite frankly, could kiss my arse.

I remember hoping upon hope that Valentine's Day was an empty, Hallmark invention, specifically created to exploit lovers in the quiet month of February but unfortunately, it is a legitimate holiday, well according to Wikipedia at least:

Saint Valentine's Day, commonly shortened to Valentine's Day, is a holiday observed on February 14 honouring one or more early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine. It was first established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD, and was later deleted from the General Roman Calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI.

The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. By the 15th century, it had evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines").

Sorry girls.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that on reflection, I now see that my animosity towards those couples and this particular day were a bit misguided. Seeing Valentine's Day from the inside out, so to speak, has made me realise what a crock it all is. There is not a boyfriend alive who relishes the approach of 14 February. He is forced to stump up cash for flowers, meals, cards and then be the epitome of the perfect lover for a whole 24 hours lest he incur the wrath of a pissed off girlfriend who will probably punish him by not putting out. The sheer forced romanticism of it all kinda kills any kind of, well, romanticism...

I don't think that couples should be told what day of the year they have to be romantic and loved up. The romance in any relationship should be spontaneous, surely? And not limited to one cold winter's night a year.

My boyfriend and I use Valentine's Day as an excuse to get some great supermarket food at great prices (those £20 meal deals are totes AMAZEBALLS!) and then we sit in and stuff our faces, rather than go out, bathed in the warm glow of coupledom and stuff it in your faces...

As with all things, the grass will always seem that little bit greener wherever you are not, and for every footloose and fancy free single girl out there enjoying carefree nights on the town, there's probably a pissed off, coupled up girlfriend, washing skid marked underpants on a Saturday night. It helps to think of these things in your lower days of singledom;).

So tonight, spare the couples, the restaurants and the day itself your wrath and embrace the freedoms of your situation. Go out with your other single friends and drink overpriced cocktails in your highest heels or stay in and watch WHATEVER you want (because you can), and play your guiltiest pleasures AS LOUD as you want (because you can). Valentine's Day is not a day to bemoan your singledom ladies, it's a day to celebrate your freedom from Relationship Oppression. Now get out there, and have a Cosmo for me ;).