06/02/2017 12:22 GMT | Updated 07/02/2018 05:12 GMT

Why We Need To Invest More In Marriage And Less In The Wedding

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Everybody dreams of a perfect wedding day and want to cherish all the incredible memories forever, and there is nothing wrong with that, but nobody strives for a perfect marriage. Why? Do we really believe that perhaps a lavish wedding will guarantee us a happy marriage? Certainly not!

Yet we spend ample amount of money just to impress the people who won't remember a thing after it's over. It's the lack of insight on our part. Our "status symbol" mentality suppresses the focus for more serious and important concerns regarding building a real marriage is sacrificed somewhere in between. The consumer culture entices us, yes, but we must not forget that marriage is more important than the wedding. Because for a fact, marriage is definitely not built on some trivial fantasies and expectations or impressive ceremonies and festivities! It's built upon a steady foundation of the sacred bond of pure matrimony.

"You don't marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they really are, and the person they're going to become as a result of being married to you." - Richard Needham

If extravagant weddings were a declaration for happy marriages, there would not be such a thing as post marriage depression and worst-case scenario: divorces. A recent study by two Economics Professors from the Emory University caught everybody's attention by explaining the negative correlation between posh weddings and the time they last. This means, the more you spend, the shorter your marriage will be.

People go into marriage with false hopes and expectations. You won't have it your way all the time. You will not be able to please both, your husband and in-laws simultaneously. You will fight, argue and not get along at times and that's life. Sometimes love and loyalty is truly demonstrated when things are not right, yet you refuse to give up on one another. If we take good care of our duties, trust me, our rights will automatically be given before we even demand for it.

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."

― Friedrich Nietzsche

We must teach our sons and daughters, brothers and sisters that it's not about finding the right spouse, rather, being the right spouse. Every successful marriage has a goal which both spouses journey towards. Finding that same goal is the real deal! Be wise. Prioritise. We must understand that wedding is only a one-time investment, but marriage is a lifetime investment.

"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility." ― Leo Tolstoy

Did you know about the three D's in marriage? Let me tell you. Shun the three dangers out of your marriage: distractions, distance, and despair. Distractions create distances between you and your spouse, which will ultimately lead to despair. Spotting those distractions means half the solution.

The goal should be to restore the true meaning of marriage and its celebrations without any financial burden on the bride's or groom's side. No matter what the society and it's wasteful wedding culture endorses, it's still not a recipe for a happy marriage nor a healthy relationship! Remember: marriage is a union between two forgivers. It's about completing each other, not competing with each other.

If all else fails, follow as Socrates says,

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."