A warm welcome to the modern world - or if you prefer, the more anal one, in which the likes of Praxiteles would most likely commit suicide in. It is one in which the areola and it's neighbours have become a symbol of offensiveness, as opposed to a celebration of nourishment, or even gender.
The human anatomy has irrationally become a coy subject over past decades, despite the fact we all inhibit various versions of one. For too long, generations of women have hidden their hooters behind layers of fabric, despite enduring the wrath of unforgiving 'under-boob sweat' during the warmest months. Even long term #FREETHENIPPLE advocates Playboy announced plans this month to cover up their models; whether or not this was an overarching feminist win is a topic for another discussion.
The war on 'suggestiveness' is prevalent across social media. And style-icon Joanna Kuchta is certainly no stranger to the nipple police. We all too clearly remember the moment when the American Apparel enthusiast admirably took to social media site Instagram earlier this year to vent her frustrations over being 'unfairly' blocked on Twitter:
But of course, this was by no means the last time the Internet sensation would make an appearance on Instagram venting her disagreement to the cause. In fact, the ordeal sparked mild revolt from the aesthetically intriguing teen. And so, battle commenced...
Things escalated quite quickly.
The negotiation point has long passed.
So you get the general gist of the rebellion; the self-titled 'Polish Princess' will continue to flaunt the silhouette of her 'jugs and orbs and darts and gourds' at the expense of prudish trolls breaking their computer mouse - an 'I can't pull my nipples off so get used to it' kind of movement.
The subject of social media sites and their elusive terms and conditions is by no means a breaking news headline. All too often we are subjected to stories regarding 'irrational' account blocking as a result of the undefined term that is 'inappropriate imagery'. This October, in light of breast cancer awareness month, Facebook blocked the 'Dublin Well Woman Centre' for posting instructions for how to perform a breast examination on the basis three cartoons it featured were "overtly sexual". I for one would be intrigued to see how many people search 'cancer' when seeking to fill a moment of intimate self-pleasure. I mean, what a ridiculous argument.
Facebook attempted to justify their motives in the following message:
"Ads may not promote pornography of any kind, whether artistic or commercial. Ads may not feature nudity, adult toys, adult products, or images of people participating in activities that are excessively suggestive or sexual in nature."
Hands up if you switched off after reading the first sentence (I'm raising my arm, if it is of any consolation). I fear the day the anti-nipple society discover the porn-hub that is Tumblr - which for the record, is aesthetically great if you like unintentionally, or intentionally, stumbling upon sex gifs.
The harsh reality of shying away from propaganda surrounding Breast Examinations is indeed for many, Breast Cancer. According to Cancer Research UK, a lump can be one of many other factors to indicate signs of the disease. And furthermore:
"If your lump is a cancer, the earlier you have breast cancer treatment, the better your chance of cure."
This alone highlights how critical it is to promote techniques for self-examination. The harsh reality of shying away from this type of propaganda could lead to avoidable fatality.
If you are curious, or perhaps 'aroused', by the sound of the post made by 'Dublin Well Woman', then here it is in all of it's might and glory...