The latest tragedy in formula 1 - Jules Bianchi's horrific crash - has made me think - why do people do this? Why do people go to work somewhere that can harm, heal, or kill?
The answer is - because you can't not. If you love what you do, you love where you work. It's part of you. Who you are.
Jules Bianchi's brain is in limbo after his smash at the Japanese Grand Prix, a specialist warns today. They will not know what to do until he wakes up.
I'm no expert but I would bet my last Love Heart that that guy goes into every race prepared to die or fly. What happened was tragic. But I bet he had considered it.
I'm lucky. I have a job where the worst thing that can happen to me being yelled at by my editor or a few internet trolls. Both those things have led me to hide away, when I'm not feeling good. But time and time again, I come back.
Writing has been my therapy since I was 14 keeping a diary (yes, I still have it). I will never stop writing, until the end. The worst that can happen is someone not liking what I write.
For someone racing cars, the worst is death. And they know this.
Dont get me wrong, I cannot compare writing blogs to racing formula 1. I can go from nought to 60 temper-wise but I'm not in charge of a car. But I get the passion, the drive.
But when you have a job that is not just employment, it is your calling, where does it stop?
Fire? Failure?
25-year-old Jules Bianchi was knocked unconscious in a horrific high-speed crash into a recovery vehicle during Sunday's rain-sodden Japanese Grand Prix. The French Formula One driver was under constant supervision after the accident, with his worried parents by his bedside.
I've seen the video and it's horrific.
But I bet he knew this could happen and discussed it with his nearest and dearest. My heart goes out to them.
I sincerely hope he wakes up and tries something else. Nigel Mansell now plays golf. Come on, Jules, even Gazza would be up for a round of golf with you.
"Jules remains in the Intensive Care Unit of the Mie General Medical Center in Yokkaichi. He has suffered a diffuse axonal injury and is in a critical but stable condition," said a statement issued by the family and the hospital.
Former world champion Alain Prost said the removal truck should never have been there. I'm currently watching a BAFTA-award winning documentary on Senna, the last big formula 1 death. It's making me think.
"The entry of this crane (onto the circuit) without the safety car is totally unacceptable. It's a real mistake that should not be repeated," he said.
But (at the time of writing) Bianchi is still with us. And that's a miracle.
We wish him and his family all the best.