10/03/2017 06:35 GMT | Updated 11/03/2018 05:12 GMT

How Will It Ever Work?


Career Vs Job. Family Vs Me.

Yesterday was a game of two halves for me, a bit of a rollercoaster. I woke up early enough to have a decent length shower, wash my hair, dry it (shock) and put on a full face of makeup. All before the little man demanded breakfast. I got him off to nursery with a day planned that consisted of looking at a property, some last minute research, an informal conference call interview, a trip to the shops to buy some birthday gifts. So a productive day was planned.

I was a little nervous about the 'informal interview' it's been a while and it's for a weighty role in the big smoke. It's for a company that has always been on my ' I'd love to work for them' list. I'm feeling pretty good about it as they found me, so whichever way it goes I can be thankful that I still look like a good proposition on paper!

I drop the rockstar at nursery, whizz home to pop some washing in and the phone goes - I see the name of the nursery pop up. Whenever this happens I always fear the worst - He's been expelled at 2 and a half!

Chicken pox has been all over nursery and although I have been quietly bragging that we've not caught it I knew our time was up. But WHY today! I got back in the car to collect him. I can cancel the property viewing but the interview with a poorly two year old in the background, never gonna work. Worst still when I collected him he only has three spots and is full of beans.

I quickly call my mum and tell her we're decamping at her house so she can entertain the boy whilst I pretend to be the professional I once was. Just as well they couldn't see me from the waist down in my tracksuit! It went well and I hope it goes further.

Although, there is one question that keeps cropping up: 'How could it work? Take days like today when Mr S has to go in to the office, I was the one that collected the little man. If we were both working full time as employees to someone else, how do you make this work? Which one takes the day off? What if there is no support around for someone else to collect the boy? (luckily for us this is a very unlikely situation)

So following my 40 mins of professionalism I went back to being mummy, full of cuddles and bing. When nap time finally arrived I was back on my laptop trying to work out potential budgets and movements should this come off, a bit premature, but it may mean I do want to give it a go, if I get the chance.

Then an email pings in to my account from a local recruitment agency asking if I am looking for work. The role is reasonable enough, not as challenging as the big smoke one, probably wouldn't offer me any career progression (another question - at 46 should I still expect that?) and half the money, but it is on the doorstep.

Yes, it would be easier for the family but is that enough for me?

I didn't think having a baby as late as I did would fill me with such emotion in every area of my life. The career bit has raised its ugly head a lot lately, most of the time I think I need it back in my life. I enjoy working for someone else, I'm good at what I do and if that means we have to make some changes as a family I'm happy to do so. But the question is will Mr S and the rockstar go with those changes?

Anyway I better go back to searching for a new work wardrobe and a little mid week apartment in London......

..............in reality that was cuddle a spotty baby while convincing him he didn't need his third lolly of the day. I already know, that's never going to work!!

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