The quarter of a century mark brings with it all the smells and scents of adulthood without the nose or the taste buds to accompany it. Like walking into an expensive French restaurant without the linguistic skills to read the menu. We're paying tax and negotiating housing contracts, yet cooking lamb is still prefaced with a phone call to Mummy, whilst she sighs 'I hope your not chopping that lamb next to the carrots Lisa". Our mid twenties without Google search would be a shameful series of questions to family members starting with 'I know I should know this but...' whilst gazing wearily down at our Young person railcards. Much like the deteriorative hangover, the road to 30 creeps up without warning or fan fare, so with that in mind, and fully aware of the fact we shall sneer and recite these with irony even at 26, here is a run down of a lives at 25:
1. Existential angst is manifesting itself in a double pronged way across our circle of friends either they are gallivanting off to spend their savings as they know they'll never afford a mortgage, OR settling down with partners, buying clothes 'to last', and discussing Le Creuset sets. Suddenly early morning Skypes and flicking through wedding magazines at house parties have become regular features in our schedules.
2. The prequel/cause for the afore mentioned point is the creation of single/relationship camps, never the twain shall drink or club together. 'The Singles Club' night out shalt not be poisoned with town folks running home to partners and the settlers do not want to hear of the wild countrymans fun. Okay, we're pushing the extremes here, but there is a definite divide, probably more natural than man-made as priorities change, but a divide all the same.
3. What's app groups make or break friendships and are the best thing since Filo Faxes.
4. Our attitudes to a 'family holiday' have flip reversed in the past 10 years. Jetting off with parents, ensures guaranteed banter, the avoidance of super noodles and spared the group trip to Thomas Cook.. Even on girlie holidays we found ourselves saying "shall we just get a bottle of that 2 euro sangria and conserve our energy" and "you may as well wait to get on the plane", and the scariest of all taking TRAVEL DETERGENT to wash our smalls.
5. Social media has brought with it new ways of finding your identity and engaging with your twenty something peers, and we're not afraid to say .Buzzfeeds' are currently our most frequent dialogue with mates and, quite frankly, give us a sense of belonging. As a nod frantically to '25 reasons you know your best friend is your best friend' and '20 reasons you know your single' it does give a sense of shameless warmth.
6. All of our friends have varying incomes, but the truth of the matter at this age is: you spend what you earn. Father Mac recently asked me the, of course reasoned, question of 'Do you have a pension then?' I duly spat my Tetley out, dropped my Hobnob, scuttled off and hid my 'Ibiza Rocks' confirmation receipt. We are consoling ourselves with the mantra 'twenties are for living, thirties are for saving', but we fear this message is not reaching our tired parents and bank accounts. Actually, having just checked our bank accounts, the message is all too clear.
7. We've started wearing tights as standard and are now having to keep skin taught when plucking our eyebrows. Spots have also been swiftly replaced with varicose veins.
8. Living arrangements are TOUGH, you're passed the student 'gung- ho' lets live with our first friends in Freshers week, but nowhere near the mortgage/accidently calling the spare room the nursery phase.
9. Red lipstick makes you feel more attractive in a room full of hot models. FACT.
10. Our brains are filled with triviality and fear of the future; see previous 9 points.