10/02/2014 10:25 GMT | Updated 10/04/2014 06:59 BST

Why Your Children Won't Go to Bed

I know many parents and one of their most common complaints is that they struggle to get their children to go to bed. Apparently, it's a constant power struggle, in which the parent is rarely the victor.

Do you require Super Nanny in your life, to visit your home, dissect your parenting skills and shout at you in that irritating, faux cockney fashion? Probably, but that's not the point. The point is, your children don't like going to bed because they're terrified of the consequences of doing so. This fear is caused, in no small part, by horrifying Nursery Rhymes, such as the popular, "It's Raining, It's Pouring", which chronicles the mortal dangers of going to bed. How do you expect your child to go soundly to sleep, when they're confronted with the ever-present risk of a slow and painful death?

Allow me to explain, through the medium of music:

If you want your children to sleep, we must ban these horrific tales of death.