09/10/2013 13:02 BST | Updated 23/01/2014 18:58 GMT

My Beef With Sundaes

Bob Geldof hates Mondays. I'm more miffed with Sundaes. That might sound shocking, but it's true. How can anyone hate a treat with all its obesity, craving creating beauty? Actually, I'm not talking about Sundaes, I meant Sundays. Why the sloppy spelling? Well for some reason Sundaes are treated differently in this country to any other day. And they, therefore, should be singled out and spelt in their own special way. You're daft is probably what your thinking. I would agree. Sunday is just a day - except it isn't.

For some ridiculous, arcane reason, I can't buy you a sundae from my naughtily too big supermarket after 5pm. What a bugger. Why should there be a curfew on fun and impromptu pud giving? It's utterly barmy.

To start with we're still, at the very least, feeling the hangover of the great recession. To limit economic activity while gesticulating for growth is bizarre. We may as well stay in bed. Just like hospitals, which languish underused on weekends, it's a wee bit annoying that whole swathes of our economic action has a legal manacle that's as welcome as a Miley Cyrus twerk.

But isn't it a holy day? Well so is Friday to Muslims, Saturday to Jews. Do Jedis have one too? No-one, thankfully, forces anyone to do anything on those days in this country; so why should the law still muck around with Sunday? You wouldn't eat a sundae past its sell-by date. Nor should you stomach a similarly sour law. If people don't want to shop or do things on a Sunday, fine. They don't have to. Given the amount of sales websites take on Christmas day, however, I doubt that this is true.

And that's the other thing. Websites don't shut down on a Sunday. I don't see Amazon putting their feet up when they have warehouses larger than most economies, let alone shops. The online world, as so often, makes a mockery of archaic law. If it doesn't work, fix it. If it's a farce, do so faster.

It's Stoptober for smokers this month. How about we do the right thing and stop this neolithic restriction on our lives. Anything that's so easy to change to help our own economy should be at the top of the legislative 'to do' list. If not, then the campaign to rename Sunday to Sundae should begin trending now.