When I clapped eyes on the Moschino, Spring Summer 16, spray bottle phone case it was love at first sight.
Ok, love may be a slight exaggeration, it was an intense fascination and I had to have it, immediately.
On the first morning of my, après boring phone case life, I was in phone case heaven; it was cool, I subsequently alluded myself to believe I was cool and all was well with the world. Then I left the comfort of my own home.
I quickly realised that not only do very few people understand the irony of a bizarre phone case but apparently strangers on the streets of London do in fact possess the ability to speak to one another. Turns out if you have a ridiculous phone case, anyone and everyone will speak to you about it.
Whilst I relished in the attention for about an hour, after a month of dealing with around 10 people a day talking to me about it, I am really, very over it.
I know, I probably deserve it, anyone who willingly buys something so ridiculous probably does. But in truth it was purchased for my own entertainment, and also because I smash my iPhone as frequently as plates at a Greek wedding.
Anyway, here are the 17 things people need to stop telling me about my phone case.
1. Is that actually your phone case?
Yes it is.
2. I thought you were just carrying a cleaning bottle around.
Surprisingly I am not.
3. I've been staring at it for while.
I saw you, just chose to ignore you.
3. Are you really into cleaning or something?
4. Does it squirt anything? (said whilst trying to squirt me)
5. Nope, it doesn't, that's annoying
I don't think my phone case's lack of ability to spritz you is the annoying part of this conversation.
6. It should spritz perfume or something.
That actually would be cool.
7. Did someone buy that for you as a joke?
No, now go away.
8. It is so big.
9. If definitely wouldn't fit in your back pocket, does it fit in your back pocket?
Funny you should say that, no it doesn't, hence why I am holding it in my hand.
10. It must be really impractical.
11. It is also heavy.
12. Apple must be so annoyed you have made its sleek iPhone look so chunky.
Haven't really had the chance to discuss it with them yet. I'll be sure to let you know their thoughts when I do.
13. Does it fit in your bag?
Depends, bags do come in different sizes.
14. Can I touch it?
Thank you for asking, normally people just grab it.
15. At least you won't lose it.
My phone is definitely now jinxed and practically crawling away from me.
16. Oh I didn't realise it was Moschino. That's cool.
17. Can I take a picture of it?
Image: Author's own