A man has been arrested in Waukesha, Wisconsin, after an off-duty police officer caught him "having sex" with an abandoned sofa.
According to a misdemeanour report obtained by the Smoking Gun, cop Ryan Edwards said he spotted Gerard Streator, 46, leaning over the couch and "thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions".
[Insert your own "sofa so good" gag here.]
When challenged by Officer Edwards, Streator - unsurprisingly - ran away, but was later caught and charged in the hotel where he works. (Hmmm... that must have been a tad embarrassing. But then again, if you're the kind of person who bonks furniture in the street, maybe you're not easily embarrassed.)
Anyway, Streator could face up to nine months in jail and a £7,000 fine. He'll also presumably have to work hard to win back the trust of friends and family. After all, you wouldn't feel too easy about leaving him alone in your living room while you went to stick the kettle on, would you?
And while we're on the subject of strange crimes, take a look at our rogues' gallery of mugshots...
Arrested for: Drink-driving.
Arrested for: Beating up a bus driver. She was found later at home where she dropped her underpants in front of police.
Arrested for: Breaking into the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals. He was later found in, yes, a wooded area.
Arrested for: Flight. As in, fleeing from the authorities. Not actual flight (see Batman).
Arrested for: Domestic violence.
Arrested for: Hitting a man on the head with a skateboard after he took a picture of his bizarre triple-mohawk hairstyle.
Arrested for: Posing as a doctor and filling a women's buttocks with cement, mineral oil and flat-tyre sealant.
Arrested for: Operating a vehicle while intoxicated.
Arrested for: Domestic battery.
Arrested for: Fleeing during a traffic stop. He was easily found later due to, yes, the tattoos on his face.
Arrested for: Smashing statues and furniture (because God told him to do it).
Arrested for: Attempted burglary. Police found him stuck in a woman's chimney - hence the soot.
Patrick Francis Brooks
Arrested for: Burglary, receiving stolen property, forgery and violating the terms of his parole for a previous conviction. His mugshot wasn't exactly repentant.
Arrested for: Being involved in a brawl in a waffle house.
Arrested for: Driving erratically.
Robert Norton Kennedy
Arrested for: Assault. Though he did apologise via the medium of his forehead.
Arrested for: Hooking up with Divine Brown.