Seeing as we wildly speculated about who could succeed Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband based on no evidence that their positions as party leaders were under threat, it is only fair to do the same for David Cameron.

Who are the Top Ten candidates to succeed the prime minister as leader of the Conservative Party? Warning: This list is entirely serious, well thought through and in-depth.

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  • Boris Johnson

    <strong>Current Job: </strong> Comedy Mayor <strong>Pro: </strong> Zoink! Popularity off the scale. <strong>Con:</strong> You know he'd be in charge of our nuclear weapons yeah?

  • Anna Soubry

    <strong>Current Job: </strong> Health minister <strong>Pro:</strong> Class of 2010, recently made a minister and good on TV <strong>Con:</strong> Don't tell other Tories she was a founder member of the Social Democrats

  • George Osborne

    <strong>Current Job:</strong> Part-time chancellor <strong>Pro:</strong> Perfectly positioned within the party <strong>Con:</strong> OMNISHAMBLES

  • Rory Stewart

    <strong>Current Job: </strong>Is basically Indiana Jones/Lawrence of Arabia <strong>Pro: </strong> Have YOU walked across Afghanistan? No. Didn't think so. <strong>Con: </strong> Being Tory leader would actually be the dullest thing he has done.

  • Sam Gyimah

    <strong>Current Job: </strong> Class of 2010 star <strong>Pro:</strong> Already been made PPS to David Cameron <strong>Con:</strong> Is hitching yourself to the PM a good long-term move?

  • Liz Truss

    <strong>Current Job: </strong> Helping Michael Gove save Britain's kids. <strong>Pro:</strong> Right-wing AND clever. <strong>Con:</strong> Used to be a Lib Dem.

  • David Davis

    <strong>Current Job:</strong> Lobbing trouble-bombs into Downing Street <strong>Pro: </strong> Ex-SAS darling of the Tory right. <strong>Con:</strong> Does the assassin ever got the top job?

  • Neil O'Brien

    <strong>Current Job</strong>: Policy Exchange wonk <strong>Pro: </strong> Northern and really, really clever. <strong>Con: </strong> Northern and really, really clever. Oh, and not an MP

  • Michael Gove

    <strong>Current Job: </strong> Speaking Latin <strong>Pro:</strong> Intelligent <strong>Con:</strong> LATIN!? Is he too intelligent?

  • Theresa May

    <strong>Current Job: </strong> Depoting illegal immigrants and their cats. <strong>Pro:</strong> Awesome spacesuit outfit Con: She thinks her party is nasty.. and they might be to her