Movie star Edward Scissorhands is said to be "fuming" that he's still on the waiting list for a hand transplant, 23 years after his affliction first came to light.
Scissorhands has lashed out - although fortunately not with his hands - at doctors for giving a transplant to "some guy in Yorkshire".
"He has gout," Scissorhands told The Huffington Post UK. "I've got frigging scissors for hands! What's a guy gotta do to get a transplant around here?!"
Wolverine, Hook and the T-1000 cop from 'Terminator 2: Judgment Day' are among the other Hollywood names also thought to be awaiting transplants. A spokesman for the stars was unavailable for comment, due to his inability to pick up the phone.