The sporting world has been in no way rocked by the revelation that some Australian rules football players may have been taking drugs.
"Surely it's the only way of persuading them to wear those tight shorts," said one commentator. "They looks completely stupid. No sober person would put those on."
Others have commented on the muscle T-shirts that players are also obliged to wear, noting that "no sane man would go out looking like a circa 1985 Bruce Springsteen fan unless he was high on something."
The rules of Australian football - which were drawn up in 1859 by someone on opium - are also notoriously difficult to understand, and apparently only make sense if you're completely wired.
The Australian Football League has also expressed concerns that some of its fans may be on drugs:
And there are fears that the use of drugs in the sport may have influenced those at the highest level:
When asked to comment on the revelations, the International Sporting Federation said: "Australian what?"
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