Millions of people across Cyprus are being robbed by their banks, HuffPost UK Comedy has learned.
The robberies have been taking place at cash - rather than gun - point, with ordinary Cypriots being asked to hand over up to 10% of their savings.
Cyprus Finance Minister Michalis 'Fingers' Sarris - the ringleader of the operation - defended his gang's tactics, saying that robbing average Cypriots was "the least worst option... The worst option being asking rich people to pay up."
There are worries that the attacks may lead to copycat crimes across Europe - although not in Britain, where citizens have already been robbed blind by bankers.
The price of halloumi has remained unchanged.