daily mail flowchart

(Created for HuffPost UK Comedy by Stephen Grant and Simon Hume)


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  • 'Bed' (verb)

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Have sex with

  • 'Pour one's curves into'

    <strong>Translation: </strong>Wear

  • 'Show someone what they're missing'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Leave the house without crying

  • 'Party until the early hours'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Leave a nightclub relatively late

  • 'Unlucky-in-love' (adjective)

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Unmarried

  • 'Wowed the crowds'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Performed

  • 'Turned heads in'

    <strong>Translation: </strong>Wore

  • 'Blonde' (noun)

    <strong>Translation: </strong>Blonde woman

  • 'Slam/blast/attack'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Criticise

  • 'Romp'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Have sex

  • 'Go au naturel'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Not wear make-up

  • 'British taxpayers'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> British people who aren't illegal immigrants

  • 'Bare one's curves'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Leave the house in anything other than an burkha

  • 'Caused a stir'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Turned up

  • 'Go make-up free'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Not wear make-up

  • 'Step out'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Leave the house

  • 'Rack up a XXXX bill'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Spend XXXX

  • Sleepy village

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Village

  • 'Male/female admirer'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Man/woman

  • 'Donned'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Wore

  • 'Rocked'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Wore

  • 'Shows off'

    <strong>Translation:</strong> Is in possession of