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Overcoming the Jealousy Habit

19/11/2014 12:03 GMT | Updated 18/01/2015 10:59 GMT

The A-Z Challenge: J is for Jealousy. Shift negative to positive alphabetically.

Now most of us would be embarrassed to admit to feeling jealous. And most of the time, we wouldn't even realise that we're feeling jealous. But jealousy happens to the best of us, and when it does, it just creeps in, eats away at us and tastes sour. It makes us overreact, misinterpret and assume things. Simply put, jealousy is toxic; it doesn't look good or feel good.

Challenge your Jealousy

  1. Before your jealousy spins out of control - just pause. Recognise the effect of jealousy on you, your interactions and your relationships. At the same time, acknowledge and accept what you are feeling. This will most likely loosen the hold jealousy has over you.
  2. Now, challenge your feelings of jealousy: Do I have valid reasons? Am I being overly controlling and suspicious? Do I believe something to be true without actually knowing it to be so? Should I take the time to find out the facts? Should I give the person the benefit of the doubt? Well, people can let us down, so if your jealousy is based on valid reasons then give yourself time to think and work out the best course of action. But if your inner control freak is taking over, curb it. And then boost your trust-ability. Trust without being naïve. Trust sensibly and be cautious when caution is called for.

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Envy and Jealousy

If you have a tendency to compare yourself to others, or justify others' success with some trivial reason, or be hyper critical of rivals, peers.... you may find what's lingering behind it all is envy, resentment.... and underneath it all is - jealousy!

  1. Sit down and dig deep into the story of 'Jealousy and You'. Why is the grass always greener on the other side? Are you jealous because someone has something you want? What's really making you jealous? Is it your colleague's promotion or a sense of achievement? Is it your friend's boyfriend or a sense of companionship? Is it your boss's schedule or a sense of adventure?
  2. Now, don't be embarrassed, hold your head up high and let jealousy lead you towards inspiration. How? Don't focus on the person, be inspired by them; be inspired by where they're at. Focus on their positive energy and qualities, their traits and skills, their drive and determination, and you'll shift your feelings of jealousy into inspiration. Get inspired and adapt or add the inspirations to better who you are and what you do. Then work out what you really want in life and how to get there. Gain inspiration and grow from this inspiration.

How to Overcome Jealousy

You may also want to explore how to be more emotionally positive so that you're less likely to fall into the feeling of jealousy in the future. You may find that envy and jealousy mostly stem from insecurity. They mostly come from low self worth and discontentment.

  1. Build your self worth. Understand that we're all unique - just like snowflakes. Celebrate your uniqueness and individuality, and be secure in yourself. But remember, no snowflake is better than another!
  2. Cultivate contentment. Be satisfied with what you have, where you are and who you are. This doesn't mean that you have no ambitions or goals. It means that you have your eye on the goal, but at the same time, be content. Even if where you are, is not where you want to be, be content. Simply start with contentment and you'll create the best possible opportunities to make improvements, reach for your goal and be more.

For more on Inner Space, please visit: www.innerspace.org.uk