profile image

Jodie Butt

A bumpkin girl on a big adventure

As a PR Director working in London my life adventures mostly involved travel, boys, friends, work and the usual everyday crisis of which wine to choose and how much cheese is really too much?

But then life threw me a real curve ball, one that completely knocked me sideways. Cancer. Yeap the C-bomb literally exploded all over my 32 year old life and took me on a completely different kind of adventure.

So these are the ramblings of everything that's followed since, the good, the bad, the sometimes funny and always honest accounts of what it's like when the C-Bomb explodes in your life.....and no amount of wine can take it away (trust me I tried!)


Not So Great Expectations...

Right now those highly positive expectations that everything will be fine, well they have evaporated. I am so over this C-monkey roller coaster. I want to get off. I want a cancer holiday. A break from all the crap in my head, a day when it's not in my thoughts.
26/03/2013 17:34 GMT

Dear Mum, You Drive Me Mental But...

When I was told I had breast cancer I walked out of the hospital feeling shocked, scared and broken. The first person I called was you. I can't remember a time in my life when this wasn't my natural reaction...
08/03/2013 17:45 GMT

Making a Big Deal Over a Small Thing - Nipples!

Saturday 16 Feb - Valentine's weekend for many, operation number four for me. This time as part of the breast cancer reconstruction they were going to tackle as much of the symmetry issues as possible and hopefully give me a new nipple - it was a pretty big day, who doesn't want a nipple for Valentine's?!
01/03/2013 17:49 GMT

Flat on My Back Waiting for Cupid

With it being the fourth operation I know exactly what to expect now. I'm like a boob op pro. My pre operation habits and rituals will be the same and I know exactly how to prepare myself. For example, I know that I like to work from home the day before so I can have some 'me' time.
14/02/2013 17:25 GMT

Boys, Boobs and a Whole Lot of Honesty

Boys and boobs have had a love affair for as long as the world has existed. Boys are seemingly mesmerised by these two dangling things, the mere sight of them can bring joy into their life and make the world a better place.
05/02/2013 00:50 GMT

Talking to Paxman About Boobs

There I am, on <em>Newsnight</em>, live on the bloody BBC talking about Lefty, my imaginary cancer character C-Monkey and boob-shaped cookies. Oh dear God. This was not another morphine moment. I wasn't hallucinating. I was sitting in a studio, in front of the legend that is Jeremy Paxman.
17/01/2013 18:10 GMT!

Gone was the old stiff Frankenboob, with its wonky edges and hard bits, gone was the annoying pipe that stuck in to my ribs, gone are the days of pumping up the jam. All gone. Frakenboob is now more. Lefty has risen from the operating table like a boob shaped phoenix and has been reborn as a real life (or very close to it) boobie! And he feels amazing.
04/10/2012 16:06 BST

Grace, What a Grubby Girl

It's only the enforced waiting that's made me realise how quickly everything happened before. How I've effectively been on fast forward since that fateful day back in June. From the first time I heard the C-Bomb to the day of the mastectomy a total of eleven days passed, it felt like years, but it was just eleven days.
21/09/2012 18:13 BST

The Boat That Rocked... With a C-Monkey and a Water Goat

At 32 I was waiting. Waiting for my life to start. For something brilliant to happen, anything really. And then C-Monkey arrived. You could say he quite literally snuck up behind me and shoved me so f***ing hard I still have the bruises.
28/08/2012 22:43 BST

And the Gold Medal Goes to...Wonky!

If talking were an Olympic sport I'm pretty sure I'd be world class. Move over Wiggins, here I come, making my bid for Gold in the freestyle talking nonsense relay - complete with signature hand gestures, accents and facial expressions. The Italians, who, let's face it, would be the only real competition, wouldn't even come close!
03/08/2012 16:45 BST

I Can't Stop Staring at Boobs!

It's amazing how quickly it's all happening really. It was just over a month ago that someone said "you have breast cancer", a week after that they took my breast and now here I am growing a new one.
27/07/2012 17:05 BST

The 13-Year-Old Me = Grumpy With One Little Boob

The pain was starting ease which meant I could, at long last, get some good sleep. Not having sleep really does send you truly bonkers. C-Monkey loves it when I don't sleep, he's like a three-year-old who's just eaten a bag of Skittles. Not good. I'd also been doing my exercises and noticed each day that I could do a little more. After a few days we had to come back for my first reconstruction appointment. My adrenaline was running on overtime. I wasn't quiet sure what to expect and couldn't decide if I was terrified - potentially more pain... or excited - here comes my new boob!
20/07/2012 17:03 BST

Paper Pants, Drugs and One Wonky Lady - Lefty Finally Gets It

You want to know this year's fashion must have...well, here it is - giant paper pants! That is, if you're a girl who's about to have a operation to remove their favourite left breast to combat cancer. If that's you, get this look now. Quite frankly if you're wearing anything else, they just won't let you in. I'm serious, they are really weird about it - who knew?!
12/07/2012 17:07 BST

The Final Count Down

So I got a call to say my op had been postponed by a few days. At first I was a bit bummed out. I'd kind of been psyching myself up for D-day, or should that be C-Day?! But after a moments reflection and a little glance down at Lefty a big smile spread across my face. Me and Lefty were living on borrowed time. This was good news.
05/07/2012 18:32 BST

Glow in the Dark Nipples - Why Not?

As my friend James pointed out, I'll probably never drown. I will have my own built-in buoyancy aid, like a life raft just ready to go should I ever need it. My own mini dinghy boob. Brilliant. Bond would be proud.
01/07/2012 17:55 BST

Dropping the C Bomb - The Day My Life Changed

The hilarious thing is that the cancer I have is quite rare and a lot of people wrongly assume only old people get it, which makes you feel about 105 when they tell you this. Oh by the way you have cancer, you have cancer for old people....yeap, you are just old, with cancer....nice.
27/06/2012 17:01 BST