Katie Lodge

Teacher, translator and writer for Huff Post

Devon-born, I've been living in Lyon for 14 years now, surviving on a diet of pragmatism and pain au chocolat, as I watch my children sprout wings and see France take a swing to the right. This is a blog on what happens here - the oddities, the people, the fascist youth organisation which has set up shop under my flat - and the kerfuffle it creates in the head of a rootless expat.

Calling All Badass Women

Bernadette is on her knees, fist clenched. Determination oozing out her eyes. The target is on the ground between two breeze blocks. <em>Traverser la cible</em>, go through the target. Focus. She sucks in one last breath, blinks, raises her fist...
06/11/2017 17:30 GMT

Beware Of The Things You Do When You're Bored

My son said he was bored for the first time the other day. Stumped, I was. Had I had wine in my mouth, it would have made the white wall abstract. Up to this point he'd accompanied his 8-year-old existence with a soundtrack of gun noises and whispers from inside an adventure-hungry and bellicose Lego community it was impossible to yank him out of.
23/08/2017 13:41 BST

Some Of Us Are In A Hurry

You understand that this kid has made waiting an art form. And you cannot fail to note that the conclusive point somewhere in the future - the dental appointment, the dinner, the place that man just has to be - is in fact nowhere at all.
31/07/2017 15:45 BST

Talking To Children About God

My son has been asking questions about God since he was four. It started during his most acute "but-why" phase. At his Catholic school in France - chosen more for its bilingual dimension than for its religious one - he heard many a biblical story cross-legged on the carpet.
20/06/2017 07:57 BST

Why I Probably Won't Stop Hitch-Hiking

"I personally wouldn't have taken the risk...", said one of my friends the other day, over a coffee, appalled at what I'd done with my daughter. "You never know...", she said, her eyes widening.
05/06/2017 16:34 BST

Meeting Your Ex's New Girlfriend

To be a distant bitch or an in-your-face bitch? To not be a bitch at all? To show an elevated sense of self-worth or be humble? To wear heels that reveal the curves in your calves, or flatties, wellies even? Cover the cleavage or let rip?
08/05/2017 13:24 BST

What Girls Call Their Body Parts

"What's<em> that</em>?" asked my three-year old son, head skew-whiff. Swamped by bubbles and an army of dinosaurs from the Cretaceous period, he was pointing at my lower regions with a Gallimimus in his hand. We were both in the bath. "Erm," I replied...
01/03/2017 16:24 GMT

The Virgin Mary Was A Genius

<strong>My friend George</strong> loves the Virgin Mary. He thinks she looks very pleasant, caring, sexy, in a mother-sexy kind of way. He also thinks her name is genius. <em>The Virgin Mary</em>. It's a reminder to strive to be something you're probably not. Like a tax-dodger being called Honest Pete.
27/02/2017 13:22 GMT

Finding That First Grey Hair

Embrace the grey or dye. It's up to you. But go do something you love. Be someone you love. Move furniture around, set fire to things, chuck out the unwanted, find music in silence. Find truth. No one's truly happy being a mortal, sensing the final stop. So a grey hair, a crappy diagnosis, a simple wake-up call, remind you your days are numbered, and that it's what you do or don't do that defines you.
09/02/2017 13:28 GMT

What We Say When We Say Sorry

A scream follows a thud. Then the crying comes. I step into the room and observe today's carnage. I sport three titles today, as parents do the world over - criminal investigator, referee and arse-kicking prosecutor with washing-up gloves on.
09/02/2017 13:01 GMT

Box Trees

A girl steps into a big house and won't nod in agreement with her mother who thinks the kitchen unit is absolutely stunning, is it IKEA? She won't look at surface, at cut-glass vases, at paintings of gravy-faced aristocrats holding guns - she'll look inside things. Cupboards, boxes, locked-up doorways, cellars. Or he will, if he's a boy.
28/12/2016 15:52 GMT