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Lyndsey Stoner

Mother. Blogger at Muma on the Edge. Restaurant Critic. Funny - probably not in a ha ha way.

I am a Mother, a Blogger- Muma on the Edge, a Wannabe Comedian and a Restaurant Critic. All rolled into one very honest, blunt human being. I have 2 small girls who provide ample material for my blog, as well as terrorising the poor unsuspecting restaurateurs whose doors we darken.
After 33 years, I have finally figured out what I want to do when I'm older: Write.
It's only too late to follow your dreams when you're 6ft under.

Formula Haters, You Did Not Pick A Good Day To Mess...

I'm in a seriously sweary mood today, it's three weeks since my last silent coffee. Ordinarily sweary wouldn't  be a problem. You'd never have known that I've shouted expletives into the fridge with the frequency of a bad case of Tourette's today.
07/08/2017 16:56 BST

I'm Sorry, But I No Longer Feel Defiant

Don't get me wrong, I am under no illusion that I can shield my babies from these monsters forever, their attacks are so random who knows what is around the corner. But at this very moment all I can think is that I must try, as best as I can, to avoid putting them in harm's way. And yes, for us, that does mean avoiding crowded places for a while.
26/05/2017 13:22 BST

The Sweet Spot Of Parenting

Did you know I have a six year old? I wouldn't blame you if you hadn't realised - my writing is so heavily dominated by the antics of my ToddlerMonster that my 'big' girl hardly gets a mention.
19/04/2017 13:55 BST

20 Times My Toddler Out-Diva'd Mariah

Let's face it, Lila just can't find the staff these days. I pander to her whims based on a battle to battle evaluation; The bottom line being how prepared I am to deal with a mini-person literally melting onto the carpet.
23/03/2017 16:06 GMT

Toddler-Led Potty Training

Lila is potty training herself; you've heard of baby led weaning? Well this is the toilet version. I'm not sure if this is an actual thing or if I am just breaking out of the muma-society mould here, I'm sure you'll let me know...
13/02/2017 15:27 GMT

Marriage: The Juggle Is Real

I am standing on an unsteady conveyor belt, clutching 5 crystal glasses in one hand, the other is stretched out to catch a priceless bottle of red from smashing to the floor. On my back is one child, and on my front is the other.
09/02/2017 11:46 GMT

Confessions Of A Dyslexic Mother

I had subconsciously buried this teeny tiny fact once I had finished the gravy train of education. I sat my last exam at university, which I took in a separate room to my peers, just like I had taken all of my exams. We had extra time as well as a couple of helpful ladies ready and willing to assist us more needy students. This was the last time I really gave my dyslexia any thought.
24/01/2017 17:50 GMT

Marriage. Whose Idea Was That?

Meet a boy, fall in love, have adventures, lazy Sundays, make memories, get married, settle down, throw a Toddlermonster or two into the mix and before long you can barely recognise yourselves.
18/01/2017 11:09 GMT