THE BLOG

Mental Health and Dating: Love or Heartache?

20/10/2014 14:21 BST | Updated 19/12/2014 10:59 GMT

Dating is hard but when suffering from a mental health problem it can be extremely difficult.

Many people suffering from mental illness say they are worried about being stigmatised against in their relationship or worried about their partner thinking their a burden.

My personal experience was that many girls I dated struggled due to me turning up late due to me doing rituals.

Most recent, I find I struggle to talk to girls about my mental illness and I have only told one since I was first diagnosed.

Another story is from my good friend Rebecca who gives her story below, she said:

"I was in a serious relationship last year to the point where we got engaged and it was hard because I could never 100% trust him and that wasn't his fault..

I found it hard because how could he love me when I couldn't even love

myself? I always thought he could do and find someone else better.

I felt bad because there would be endless nights where I would just cry and have breakdowns which he would think was his fault when it wasn't, it wasn't fair on him. it brought him down too.

Eventually the relationship ended as it just wasn't working anymore, It was for the best but at the time it completely broke me.

I thought I'd never be able to find anyone else who would have me, love me when I couldn't and hold me on those nights when I just needed to let everything out and cry.

I'd lost that person that I could confide in and tell everything too.

I felt anyone I dated, would see me as a burden.

I didn't think they'd be able to handle my mental health condition.

I needed reassurance that I was good enough for them, all the time.

There's a quote that says "No-one can love you until you love yourself" which has always scared me.

my family loves me even though I don't love myself, but it's a scary quote for anyone with Mental Health issues.

I'm still trying to figure out having a mental illness and dating- so far it's not going too well.. but I know there's someone out there for me somewhere as there is for everyone else, but a wise man once told me;

"you don't need a man(or girl) to show you what you're worth, you're strong enough and can do it on your own" - Danny Bowman.

That quote has helped me a lot and I hope it can help many more people too".

Mental health should not be a barrier but in relationships it can be, you need to find someone who understands and only date people who see the person you are and not the mental illness.