Death is perhaps the one certainty in life. Most of us think that our eventual demise will be in the distant future. Yet, this wasn't to be the case for the soulful, bluesy and angst-ridden young singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse.
The news that the undoubtedly gifted 27-year-old award - winning Brit had died, alone in her flat in trendy Camden, northwest London sounds like the dismal and clichéd end of life experienced by many immortalised rock stars like Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix.
Amy's physical and mental decline in the last few years has been the subject of intrusive reporting by the tabloid press in the UK and abroad. Drug and alcohol addiction, eating disorders, self-harming and a disastrous marriage to co-dependent substance abuser Blake Fielder-Civil led to a number of spells in rehab clinics. Paparazzi - published photos of her near emaciated frame, covered in unsightly and meaningless tattoos, staggering out of pubs and nightclubs in the early hours of the morning were splashed across the pages of celebrity obsessed magazines. No one needed a clairvoyant to predict the probable outcome of this tragic story.
However, like many others including fans and her contemporaries I'm shocked by the brutal suddenness of Amy's death. They say where there's life there's hope.
The immediacy of access to news and the sharing of information on the internet has made large sections of the public feel like participants in the lives of famous people like Amy and not just voyeurs. By following the minutiae of Amy's turbulent life on newspaper websites like Mail Online they feel a connection with her which is beyond a simple appreciation of her music.
The collective sharing of grief on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter at a life spoilt and cut short resonates with the personal experiences of those who have had an "Amy" in their lives: an alcoholic, neglectful parent or an abusive, addict partner. This outpouring of emotion should not be ridiculed.
I had an overwhelming feeling of sadness and underlying frustration when I heard about the final chapter of Amy's life. It was the same sense of waste and futility I experienced on learning about Michael Jackson and even Paula Yates 11 years ago.
A while back Amy obtained an injunction against paparazzi photographers. The court order banned a leading paparazzi agency from following her. Photographers were also banned from following her within 100 metres of her home and photographing Amy in her home or the home of her friends and family. According to a newspaper report, sources close to the singer said legal action was taken out of concern for the safety of Amy and those close to her.
Amy's seemingly devoted father Mitch will be devastated I thought. Why wasn't he with her or why wasn't anyone with her? Why was she left on her own? I asked myself. She was weak and vulnerable.
A friend commented that if he was Amy's manager he'd have kept a watch on her 24/7.
What could I have done to help Amy? The answer is nothing. The reality is I didn't know her.
Carol Howard Merritt: You Were Good, Amy Winehouse
Rabbi Shais Taub: Was the World Powerless to Stop Amy Winehouse?
Other than that, as long as we were willing to grant her any human rights and freedoms at all: nothing.
I've also known people who have been in recovery for decades. They no longer get high, but still manifest the underlying psychological problems they had before and during the time of their substance-abuse. There are no easy answers in all this.
I hate the scorn that is spewed at addicts; even though I've lost numerous loved ones to this disease from the time I was a young child. I hate that we have yet to find real solutions to the problems--I'll never hate the sufferers, just the pain and devastation they leave in their wake.
They must do it for themselves.
They stop being junkies or alcoholics when they stop taking drugs or alcohol.
Their addiction and desires always continues.
I've made a life long study of this - my mother died of an overdose when I was in High School in the late 60's.
I've watched many friends go since then. Taken them to counseling, intervention, etc.
We may be able to help them get temporarily clean so that their minds clear.
But, in the end, they either want to stop themselves - enough to stop - or they don't.
My sadness is for Amy's parents. Having to sit there and watch your child kill themselves all the while being surrounded by people who aided in her demise and told her to ignore what others say including the words of desperation from her parents to Please stop and to get help. I cannot say only the good die young because in Amy's case, the good was being talked out of her by her so called closest friends and confidants as they where living the life with her and not caring about the consequences because they were ony having fun and getting paid. The business killed Amy Winehouse, she and her friends just helped it along.
Why didn't Britney Spears die? She was forced to clean up.
Why didn't Lindsay Lohan die? She was forced to clean up.
Of course, in the end, unless someone truly wants to live, they can kill themselves.
Her friends and family will be feeling terrible about this already, I don't think we should criticise them because they tried and failed to save her from herself.
It can be beaten if one wants sobriety and health badly enough, but it robs so many -- of their core and of their life -- despite the desperate attempts of those who love their addicted family member, friend, lover.
For a seemingly intelligent and reasonable person, I'm surprised that you managed to completely misunderstand and overreact to my post without so much as a simple question about that post.
I never said nor did I imply that * I * think mental illness isn't real.
My exact words were: "...ScientologÂists aren't the only ones who question whether mental illness is real."
Nowhere in that statement do I state or even imply anything related to MY views on mental illness at all. I was simply pointing out to the poster to whom I was replying that Scientologists shouldn't be the automatic go-to culprit for anyone disavowing mental illness as a serious and real disease.
I read some of your other comments before posting this response, and I have to say that generally, I agree with most of your views / responses on things....but boy, you got this one wrong, big-time.
Oh, and I agree that not only is mental illness VERY real, but so is addiction. Nothing to argue with on either point.
A tragically pointless death and waste of a talented person's life.
trying to get your name in lights across the body of a very talented girl who has now died. give her some space in death!!!