PARENTS

Mum Of Stillborn Daughter Writes Poignant Poem About The Constant Struggle Of Losing A Baby

'People don't think about it in this way.'

22/03/2016 16:36 GMT

A mother who gave birth to a stillborn daughter has written a poignant poem about the constant struggle she faces after losing her baby.

Libby Martin, 25, from Stourbridge, gave birth to her daughter Beatrice in December 2014. 

The poem touches on the aspects of Beatrice's life that Martin and her partner are missing out on - and always will. 

Having blogged about stillbirth in the past, Martin said she was inspired to write a poem after reading a quote card that was shared online.

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Libby Martin and her fiancé Rob Gazzard

The quote that inspired Martin read: "I don't think most people truly understand how much is lost when a baby dies.

"You don't just lose a baby, you also lose the one- and two- and 10- and 16-year-old she would have become.

"You lose Christmas mornings, loose teeth, first days of school. You just lose it all."

"This was my inspiration for the poem," Martin told The Huffington Post UK. "It made me realise why I will always struggle with losing Beatrice.

"I wrote it because I wanted others to realise why those who have lost a child will always struggle.

"People don't think about it in this way, they just think about how sad it is that you've lost a baby.

"When, actually, the hardest thing about it all is the promise of everything you've lost."

Read Martin's full poem below. 

Lost

A baby, a daughter, my child.

Hugs, kisses and love.

Dirty nappies, sleepless nights.

Putting her above

Everything else. Everything.

Her laughing. Her cry.

Thinking of answers

When she asks “but…why?”

 

Her eyes - what colour? Her smile.

Her walking; her first word.

The way her face lights up

The first time she sees a bird.

Hearing her say “Mummy”.

Him answering to “Daddy”.

Deciding what to do when

She has her first paddy.

 

Colouring and drawing.

Her first portrait.

Dance shows and sports days.

Teaching her how not to hate

Her body. Hanging out

And painting nails. Cuddles.

Dog walks in wellies.

Jumping in puddles.

 

Shopping for her first bra.

Teaching her to bake.

Helping her to write a CV.

Showing her how to make

The things my Mum taught me.

Watching her and being proud.

Telling her during sleepovers

Not to be too loud.

 

Allowing her mistakes.

Broken hearts and tears.

Watching her grow and learn

Throughout her years.

Looking at her and seeing myself.

My baby. My best friend.

Wishing that my life with her

Will never ever end.

 

Meeting her partner.

Graduation.

Our little chats from our home

To the train station.

Dress shopping for ‘The One’.

Her telling me I’m a Nan.

Just being there for her,

Always telling her she can. 

 

I have lost my baby

And that is awfully sad.

But what you probably don’t realise -

It’s why I still feel so bad -

Is that that isn’t all I’ve lost.

Every hour, every day,

I lose something new.

I so wish there was a way

That we could see all the things

That she would’ve done

And meet the wonderful woman

She would’ve undoubtedly become.

Follow Martin's blog about being a mother of a stillborn child at elizabethrosemartin.wordpress.com

SEE ALSO:

What They Don't Tell You

Can Stillborn Babies Save Others Babies Lives?

Jeremy Hunt Announces Plans To Halve Stillbirths And Baby Deaths In The UK