LIFESTYLE

Man Seriously Regrets Ghosting His Girlfriend Of Three Years, As She Becomes His New Boss

We are so here for this.

23/08/2017 12:11 BST | Updated 23/08/2017 12:16 BST

We’ve all dreamed about getting revenge on an ex who has broken our heart, especially those who decided they would just ghost us into oblivion rather than just tell us what the hell was up.

But now fate has dealt one ghoster the most extraordinarily perfect hand after he discovered his ex-girlfriend was about to become his new manager at work.

Get the popcorn ladies and gentlemen, this is gonna be good. 

The anonymous individual, submitted his little “conundrum” to ‘Ask A Manager’ in the hope that someone (with more than the emotional capacity of a rock) could help him work out how to dig himself out of this massive hole.

Discovered by Buzzfeed, the post begins by explaining exactly why this is truly the shittiest of situations for this dude, namely because he didn’t just ghost someone he had been on a casual couple of dates with.

No no, this man had been in a three-year-relationship with Sylvia before deciding that while she was visiting her family at Christmas time, he would book a flight and move abroad. Without any warning. Seriously.

Then, because obviously he is an excellent judge of appropriate responses to situations, he says that Sylvia “became obsessed” trying to track him down via his family and friends.

It’s almost as if she was worried he’d been kidnapped in the middle of the night or something.

“I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a break-up drama,” he added. 

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Although this little drama happened over ten years ago, and Sylvia was allegedly “forgotten history” (he has such a way with words) it seems that the universe had other ideas.

Because the maths teacher, who works at an international school, found out last week that our girl Sylvia is about to become his new manager: “I have no idea what to do and how to deal with this mess.”

Cue the smallest violin ever.

And instead of just apologising and re-writing that cover letter ASAP, he remains adamant that he wants to stay put.

He said: “It is clear this will be not only embarassing but I will also be reporting to my ex. I am not in a position to find another job at present. To make the situation worse, the expat community here is very small and tightly knit so teachers also socialise a lot.”

Unsurprisingly pro-advice-giver and all-round managing boss Alison Green (‘Ask A Manager’ is basically a career agony aunt service) was pretty diplomatic in her response, saying: “Your best chances of an okay outcome are probably to contact Sylvia ahead of time to let her know you work there so that she’s not blindsided by it on her first day.”

But the rest of us can just go ahead and say what we’re all thinking - no you don’t deserve a pity party and karma is a real bitch.

And Sylvia, we hope you smash your new job role.