Another underpants bomb - bloody nuts.
The UN Security Council - paralysed by the stench of corpses piled at its door.
If God created Man in His own image - there is a fair chance He's morbidly obese.
Greeks reject austerity - well, they did invent tragi-comedy.
France goes socialist - bye bye France.
Pakistan - a failing state soon to turn rogue.
Where once European leaders chased the euro funeral cortege - now they're falling in its grave.
Modern politicians believe in nothing - so few believe in them.
Tehran will never abandon nuclear weaponisation - unless its bluff is called and its bunkers are busted.
Jubilee - where we give thanks we don't have a presidency.
Plans to vote in mayors, peers and police commissioners - same crap spread over more channels.
The Oxford-Cambridge boat race disrupted - a single-issue fanatic showing the inadequacies in himself rather than the system.
More shootings on an American university campus - attrition seems to be part of their syllabus.
Democracy gains a toehold in Burma - a small step for man, a giant leap for monks.
Collective nouns - a parliament of owls, a murder of crows, an arsewipe of politicians.
Collective nouns - a pod of whales, an ambush of cheetah, a failure of social workers.
British MPs are compulsively eating pasties - at least it shuts them up.
Students - lousy food, poor housing, terrible job prospects...happy days.
Education used to be a way out of the ghetto - state education ensures you stay there.
Private education - because state education is dreadful.
Teachers plan an autumn of strikes - that should improve literacy and learning..
Pubs, dogs, irreverence - three reasons why many British Moslems find it difficult to integrate.
Argentina pledges an eternal fight to regain the Falklands - eternity is how long it'll have to wait.
I have a dream - that one day not every girl and boy in Wales and Scotland will want to become a care worker or classroom assistant.
Holidays - where you go to watch families attempt dinner-table conversation for the first time.
Spiders from Mars - the Millibands.
Ed Balls - what's in a name...
Lightning never strikes the same place twice - sadly dog shit often does.
The Respect Party - so why am I so contemptuous?
A solution to national health funding - get the drunks and fatties to pay for themselves.
One in five British children are deemed special needs - maybe some are just stupid.
LibDems - soft-left, soft-soap, soft-headed.
April Fools - the LibDems believe themselves a serious force in British politics.