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Punchline Challenge: Cameron Wants to 'Set the Royal Mail Free'

15/09/2013 19:14 BST | Updated 14/11/2013 10:12 GMT

It seems the latest institution to fall under the Government's gavel in the Great Austerity Auction is to be our beloved Royal Mail. The refund for George Osborne's faulty calculator clearly won't cover the shortfall for his budgetary balls-up so the Post Office is being broken up and sold off or, 'set free' as the Prime Minister announced last week. So despite mounting opposition, the threat of strike action and even the service's Canadian owner, Moya Greene, being booed by staff at a recent meeting, another public service is being flung over the side of the coalition's sinking vessel.

So, fuelled by rage and very strong coffee I issued this line to my mini militia of satirical foot soldiers:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free...

And the response was exceptional. So first up is @mrjohnmcleod:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free. From the shackles of public ownership & lack of financial gain.

Then, @martintagg:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free at last, free at last, thank Dave almighty the mail is free at last.

@musical_statues, and the brilliantly succinct:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free. From deliverance.

@Diversion50 was the first to make this connection with:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free. But Prince Harry likes to be tied up.

Several made the Royal connection. @StreamWillows had:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free and has approved William's resignation from the Armed Services.

@bawjawsmacgraw followed with:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free and now Prince William feels able to quit his day job.

A couple of light-hearted ones, first up @rejunevanated:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free. So he's confiscated all the elastic bands.

And a joyous, Vic-and-Bob style surrealist gem from @LoosiJoosi:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free, to be delivered by Leprechauns at a cost-price fee!

@Glowypanda had this lyrical lampoon:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free. You can't hiiide your private eyes...

It was becoming clear that people dearly cared about the Royal Mail and public institutions in general and even more than that, they loved to stick one finger up at a government who just doesn't care about them. @FemmeDomestique aimed her rage at a duel target with:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free. Badgers, threatened with culling, demand to know why they weren't given the same ballot option.

@SandyFootwells delivered the pathos with:

Cameron wants to, 'set the Royal Mail free', like a parent talking to a child about an unwanted pet. Next we'll get "The Royal Mail has gone to live on a farm".

@Charisma_Effect had a similar one. See it here. But then came back with a smasher:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free. So he's popped it in the box without a stamp and let the public pay the postage.

Brilliant. I have to pick a favourite and this week @Adam_Leedham wins that honour with this devastating blow to the PM's credibility:

Cameron wants to set the Royal Mail free. So he's going to leave it in a pub toilet.

More Punchline Challenge soon.

*Some jokes may be edited to better suit the article. All original tweets can be viewed by clicking on the @ name links.