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Balancing My Love for Girly Stuff: A Feminist Battle

18/01/2016 12:10 GMT | Updated 14/01/2017 10:12 GMT

I have to admit. I love being a girly girl. I love perfume, lipstick, platformed shoes, cleavage, chocolate, nail varnish, ice-cream, rom-coms, glitter and hell, I even love beautiful gemstones. But what is hard to admit as a feminist is that I enjoy all these things. A woman is usually restricted to linear choices when it comes to gender; sometimes I feel I can only either be a "preppy cutsey-girl" or "hardcore butch girl". Apparently, women are either kind, or they are bitches; women are either nurturing or totally cold; there is no in between. The world is quick to forget the umbrella of people that exist within the grey areas. Our society is filled with billions of nuanced personalities and characteristics; binaries are impossible. I am a stone cold feminist, but I still prefer alpha males as sexual partners. Am I a hypocrite? A contradiction? Yes, I am.

Bell Hooks has a theory that women who date alpha males are trying to avoid having to deal with their own issues in the relationship so they seek men who are unable to emotionally commit to them. Two emotionally broken people cannot "fix each other" because of the blind spot. I find myself seeking a man who I can act a "girly girl" with, a craving for submissiveness almost, and the girly stuff helps me with that. Many woman have asked me how I balance being so "womanly" and so "manly" at the same time. I don't agree with gender stereotypes. Can I wear pink and still fight for equality rights? Yes! Can I enjoy going shopping with my girl friends and then doing our nails? Yes! Do I enjoy sitting for hours talking to my female friends about our male conquests? Yes! Does this mean that I am a bad feminist, or perhaps a bad woman? Whatever the result, I don't care.

There are some feminine rituals that I will never rid myself of. I believe that feminism is fluid and accepts all changes that have to be made. I live in a society that is basically founded on patriarchy and sexist oppression. Adjusting to make your own life a little easier is not selling out. Reform and re-structure is also a form of revolution.

The reality for most women is that; sometimes it feels good to do girly things. I am a proud, fearless woman who does not accommodate for anyone. I am also not stubborn enough to admit I am a badass woman who is submissive when I want to be and a feminist when I want to be. Sometimes I enjoy acting out a few silly rituals. It makes life a little less serious for me. I cannot take my life so seriously that I would not even enjoy my own gender a little bit. Some people confuse being a feminist with having a full-time job. Feminism is a framework for me; I use it in accordance with my own life. You can still be a hardcore feminist with a pink Ak47 in one hand and a diamond in the other hand.