You're petrified of being out of your depth in water, you're rubbish at swimming, or perhaps you almost drowned in the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami. Non...

On Saturday I got up alarmingly early to beaver across to Sky TV studios for the privilege of reviewing papers.

I have learned a lot about myself on Celebrity Coach Trip - not least that being chums with famous people who you also have to 'vote off' may not actually be in my top skill set. But it's certainly been a journey (from Pisa to Roma).

Jane Horrocks will attend one night, but as I have a phobia about knowing when people come in - I had to ask my friend to text her back pretending my friend was me - saying that would be marvellous and can't wait to see her - but in fact I don't know when I will be delighted.

Am now besties with Lulu I do hope - LOVE her hair. Would have asked for the name of her hair dye if I'd thought, but was too busy remembering my lines. How does she do it? I must copy. Get drunk in Green Room at Ab Fab after party. Shove mobile phone down cleavage.