Pick up 10kg of flour from the supermarket. Don't put it down for 12 hours. Whilst carrying it, continue normal tasks, including paying for the rest of your shopping, smiling tightly when strangers poke your flour and ask its gender, travelling home, and unpacking your shopping.
What are the symptoms? A state of prolonged muted agony, a constant background nagging in your head... you're not doing enough, you're not giving enough, you're not being enough with your children.
After the school run I waited in the reception of the Breast Care Unit, trying to enjoy the moments of peace (actually having time to read a magazine about random celebrities that I had never heard of) - but I was shaking. Even though I knew the answer before I was told, I was still shaking.
Knackered Mum guests are welcomed to stay as long as they need in our judgement-free resort. Our mission is to ensure you leave as relaxed and as re-charged as possible to return home less knackered to your wonderful families.
Working with babies and new mums for ten years at Babyblooms, it still never ceases to amaze me how nature and nurture plays its part on crafting our personalities and how our traits can be evident as early as the baby stage.
No matter how many times I tell myself this I just can't get my head around it. Crazy I know, as by the time the day arrives I will have had 365 of the damn things to get myself prepared for it. Not to mention she is my second Tiny Human to have her 1st b'day so I should know what to expect.
I know the days spent entertaining the baby and toddler at home by myself are likely to increase now that winter is on it's way... As I can't be arsed to find the rain-cover and spend several hours working out how to re-attach the foot-muff to the buggy. So. Here's my guide to making the most of the rainy days stuck in the house with small people...
I wanted everyone to know I was a mum. In hindsight the bags under my eyes and slightly deranged swaying from side to side, was a dead giveaway. However it sparked a conversation about other badges parents need.
The amount of times people have said to me, "Are they all yours?" is untrue. I was crazy and didn't take up the government's 15 hours of free childcare when I had the third one (apart from my daughter had three mornings at Pre-School), so the majority of my maternity leave I would always be out with the three of them.
As one of multiple millions of people who use Pinterest regularly, I find it to be an amazing source of inspiration for parenting hacks, interiors brainstorming, fun activities to do with kids and basically any whim or fancy which can be visually attained in just a couple of clicks.
Every home educating family has a story to tell. Some felt so strongly about wanting their children to learn at home, that they never sent them to school, even for one day. Some got as far as nursery but had a hunch that school would be too much.
Word is out. Belief in God will make your children less moral people, so say researchers from the University of Chicago. It's hit the news too, and looking at the comments sections, boy, those un-judgmental atheists are really showing how humble they can be.
I am passionate that a text book baby or family simply doesn't exist, that there isn't a one size fits all solution and we are all beautifully unique! What will work for one baby and family may not work for another.
It should become part of their daily routine, which we know is something kids thrive on, and can also become an indicator that it is almost time to go to bed - another great technique to trick them into bed without them even realising.
Since having children I have picked meat out of their little teeth in a restaurant. I can say hand on heart I would not do that for another human being. I have used a hand-held breast pump, feeling like a Jersey cow, as a bus load of people parked at the stop stared at me through my living room window and I simply stared back.
Today was our 20 week scan, a day which should have been a wonderful occasion for our growing family, but, due to a rule at The Royal Wolverhampton Trust, not previously stated or explained in any form, I was forced to miss the opportunity to see my baby and was left sitting outside the consultation room as my wife went in alone.