A quick social media scan tells me that the Beau is on holiday with the 'beautiful family' from whom he continues to pretend he is estranged. He'd got quite courageous in the weeks leading up to it, calling me on weekend lunchtimes to say he "happened to be in the area".

Even a decade ago, using a vibrator or (worse!) a male mastubator was an admission of failure, a last resort for the losers in love who had given up on ever having an actual flesh-and-blood relationship. All the lonely people, the Beatles nearly sang, where do they go to come? But now, according to research, the sex toy market is worth an estimated £250m a year in the UK.

The average Brit has sex 42 times a year, a new survey has revealed. But while some are leading lustful lives, others are spending their evenings star...