I like the opening five minutes of The Apprentice the best I think. Mainly because of the contestants' VTs; which this year contained some very bold and arousing statements. "I am a great of my generation. I take inspiration from Napoleon," so says a small man wearing ladies sunglasses.
As early as midway through the first episode we gain an appreciation of whom we are going to collectively despise. It is normally the irritating cretin who takes it upon him/herself to come up with a team name such as 'oblivion' or 'evolve.' Why they feel compelled to come up with such lame post-apocalyptic names is beyond me.
Die-hard book fans will be squirming at the sight of Theon Greyjoy, who doesn't even appear until much later in the books. The sheer amount of activity going on in this episode felt like a visual binge of narratives and characters. I was too scared to take my eyes off the TV screen in fear of missing something important.
The latest series of Made In Chelsea is upon us and I once again feel queasy, can someone pass the bucket? Why do we always insist on celebrating excess? It is absolutely beyond me why so many watch this glorified tripe. It is quite literally the television equivalent of manure.
With the Season 2 finale airing on Sky Atlantic this week, HBO's GIRLS' sophomore season ended on a real high. The final episode (spoiler alert if you are yet to watch) brought it back to basics - the episode was filled with lots of the characters, real charm and effortless Brooklyn style.
In this standalone film Malone explores the science of alteration in nature, with the expected looks at the life cycles of caterpillars, sea urchins and tadpoles. As you'd expect from any decent nature documentary there's plenty of "Ooh!" shots of X-rayed animals, underwater footage and some excellent time-lapse photography.
The main problem with Sue Perkins is that she's Sue Perkins. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that in a bad way.
RIP the Monday night blues, as television schedules have been bursting with starry brilliance over the past weeks, unfortunately leaving the rest of the week's television rather bland.
Call the Midwife's dewey tableau has been pilloried this season around for giving men a hard time... when they're not serially bashing their wives, they're neglecting them in fire hazards of homes, marrying two sisters at a time (that was all a bit weird) or queueing up on the ship to take their turn with the captain's daughter. So does this hit show fail the sexism test?
Well Paula 'I can't trust anyone ever again' Hamilton donned her best John McCririck finest and juttered out of the house, to a chorus of 'who are ya.' Let's be honest here; the woman was clearly on the edge before she slid down to the basement, as I have witnessed her arguing with herself and performing the most erratic karate known to man
Another remarkable thing about Scandal is its black female middle class protagonist. In light of the more culturally diverse UK according to the recent census, it left me wondering, whether this could ever be the case for a British drama?
There are few tales as heart-warmingly, iconically festive as the traditional story of a lonely young boy who builds a snowman in his back garden, only for it to come to life and lead him on an exciting adventure... to destroy humanity.
There's one thing that really gets my horned goat in this grand scheme of things. REALITY TV! Please, don't get your head turned in an Exorcist style and think it's the way to fame and fortune, kiddies! Believe me. I might be a rock star, all glitter, fake blood, make-up and theatrics (with awesome rock anthems of course) but you've no idea the hard graft and craft that's gone into my career. The problem is with wanting to be a reality TV star, you're only famous for a little while. You can't live on that fame forever.
UNICEF has put the number of street children living and working on the streets of Brazil as high as two million. As many as one in three of these children will likely die before their 18th birthday.
Finger clicking Christopher started the ball rolling this week. Yes he is still standing. Good on yer man. Why not enjoy it. The public must like him, as he keeps coming back.
Even though I have sat through the past eight weeks nit-picking and exclaiming in cod-horror every time one of the cast appeared with one too many buttons fastened, this third series of Downton Abbey has been excellent.