Mrs Mountable writes:
Dears I've been so saddened that once again the communists are spreading their depressingly dull rants about a British Institution which has gladdened the hearts of many a conservative lady such as myself in a vain attempt to bring us to our knees.
So I say loud and proud to the cynics and hairy layabouts out there, you will take our Daily Mail only from our cold dead hands.
The Daily Mail has for many a year led the way on truth and information in this country.
Whilst the exposed toes of the sandal wearing, tofu eating, poor people championing, "mate of a mate is something in the third sector" referencing, Guardian readers may curl in pleasure at some Gay marriage story this or Benefit scrounger story that; The Daily Mail has remained unyielding in its dogged pursuit of the truth and the light and the vulnerable and the unaware.
I'm now fully acquainted with the hundreds of potentially cancer causing dangers, which stalk my every waking hour, and fully abreast with which celebrity has let herself go in the cellulite department.
The daily antics of the Middletons, blushing bride, pleasingly bottomed sister and middle class mother too. Speaking of stalked pregnancies how would I know who has bounced back from motherhood with a pleasingly flat stomach and who has tempted divorce-fate by venturing from the house make up free and bingo wings a dangle, without the Daily Mail and their long lenses?
Well the truth is dears I wouldn't and I'll tell you for why.
The Daily Mail is super-vigilant of many potential dangers so I don't have to be.
From, Gay lifestyles, to decent tax-payer immigrant supporting horror, through to fake wheelchair occupants. I'm up to speed, dears. I didn't see them unable to walk a few yards last summer. They were running and jumping and bouncing around no end for a gold medal, so they can jolly well earn their benefits and stack shelves in Poundland now, like some of the rest of us.
Why I wouldn't even understand that benefit dependence is a factor in murder, if it wasn't for the Daily Mail bringing me my news in a crisply framed headline and a woman judging online sidebar.
It's all there. Showbiz, make up tips, political news and many, many articles on how women have let themselves age, gained weight and caused the breakdown of society by not remaining at home to raise their offspring or indeed not having children at all, which is of course very wrong of them.
Then there are the columnists like dear Samantha Brick who many ugly women hate because she is so pretty and my own poster girl for the straight talking brigade, Melanie Phillips.
Dear Liz Jones too offers her eccentricity in a perfectly digestible way. She may have been known to purloin the contents of a spent prophylactic, but who hasn't dears?
At least she WANTED a baby. Unlike so many of these hirsute feminists who rant on about women's rights ad nauseum and who seem to be wanting to making abortion COMPULSORY. No dears, feminism isn't for myself or my friends we'd much rather read the Daily Mail.
In conclusion I will leave you with an urgent plea for reason. Don't spend your day filling your head with liberal leftist nonsense and guff. Step away from that Guardian PUT DOWN THE DAILY MIRROR.
Especially ignore that hideous HUGH GRANT. What a huge disappointment he has turned out to be . He has turned his back on his own and sided with the bearded trots. WELL GOOD RIDDANCE HUGH.
Embrace the good sense and PC free Daily Mail. Let your heart swell and imagine our rolling hills, close your eyes to the sound of a summers day on the cricket veranda, of smiling blue eyed, blonde haired children, of an England to be proud of. Mummy in the kitchen in her apron checking on Daddy's dinner as she dutifully awaits his return. Of the caravan club, and the WI and the cheerful bobby on the beat, playfully punching a scamp around the head for some misdemeanour.
People didn't care about human rights then, they were too busy earning a decent crust, drink driving with impunity and digging for Victory.
THOSE WERE THE DAYS and The Daily Mail just wants them back . Then know the enemies to this vision, this England, OUR ENGLAND ANDTHEY REMAIN VIGILENT!!!!!!
God bless the Daily Mail ignore your critics and detractors.
I've been reading you for years and it certainly hasn't done me any harm.
Read more of my words here dears where I daily Twit at @mrsmountable and my inspirational blog http://mrsmountable.blogspot.co.uk/Suggest a correction