The Jimmy Savile child sex scandal is widening in Britain dragging in more and more personalities from the music industry of old. This has got me thinking about society's abhorrence and social panic about adult men having a physical relationship with a teenage girl. We read of the British school teacher who ran off with his 15-year-old student, a German politician whose career was ruined by his affair with a 16-year-old and of course Berlusconi with his 'bunga bunga' parties with young girls.
These men are animals. Right? Perverts with no moral sense at all. Right? Paedophiles. Right? The girls, innocent victims with no way of knowing that they were being taken advantage of. Right?
Well, that's what the media are telling us.
But - if I may be the devil's advocate for a moment. Have you met teenage girls? Have you been one? I have and I know that I was fantasizing about sex from about the age of thirteen. It was all my friends and I could talk about and we weren't fantasizing about our pimply, gangly school-boy mates.
At 14 I was dreaming of getting horizontal with Rod Stewart, Peter Frampton and Sting. Possibly all at once. These guys were more than double my age. At the age of 15 I successfully seduced my first rock-star and adopted the secret life of a groupie for the rest of my teenage years, chasing INXS and Duran Duran and just about anyone else who was top of the pops. I was predatory, 'collecting lovers like butterflies.' The truth is that back in the late seventies and early eighties the 'school-girl' thing was a big drawcard. Now, as an older, wiser woman, I find this distasteful and just plain wrong but I know some of that is driven by my ageing ego.
Lori Maddox, a famous teenage groupie from LA, is alleged to have lost her virginity to David Bowie at the age of 13. She was Jimmy Page's steady girlfriend while still underage. And then there's the Rolling Stone who gathered no moss because moss takes too long to grow, who hooked up with Mandy Smith when she was 14! Elvis started playing with Priscilla while she was still a young schoolgirl.
Some girls do develop a sexual identity before others and it doesn't always fit nicely with the current legislation that controls that area of her life. The age of consent varies around the globe: In Japan it's 13 for a girl. In Australia it's 16. In Tunisia - 20. For male homosexuals the age is usually much higher. Does that mean that human sexuality develops differently for girls according to their geographical location or that gay people mature more slowly?
The local newspaper back then, was happy to publish 16 and 17-year-old bikini models on page three. The media promoted the teenage girl as the ideal and it still does. Idiots like Benny Hill had stupid television shows where blokes ran around chasing buxom blondes in sexy school uniforms.
There is a world of difference between a paedophile who grooms and targets young children for sexual abuse and a young man who is seduced by a young girl with casual sex on her mind. And it is an important distinction to make; a shade of grey that needs to be understood.
While the media rustles up a storm of indignant horror at the men who have been accused of fooling around with young girls back in the seventies, they would do well to remember that by definition Bill Wyman, David Bowie, Jimmy Page, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis and many others - could by strict definition - be accused of child sex crimes.
Back in the day teenage groupie sex was epidemic. It was the fuel that drove rock and roll. It is not in the same category as the Belgian paedophile rings or the systemic abuse of children by Catholic priests. It just isn't.
Celebrities get targeted by wanton teenage girls. I know, because I've been the hunter.
My teenage experiences were not rape. I am in a position to be able to differentiate between the two. They are poles apart. But even consensual under-age sex is considered an offence, even if it is between two experimental teenagers. I knew what I was doing at 15 and by 17 I had learned some hard lessons, crossed some lines and learned to pitch my own boundaries. I believed I had the right to say 'yes' as well as 'no'.
Max Clifford, one of the world's top publicists (from The Beatles to Simon Cowell) was arrested this week in this latest hunt for child sex offenders from the seventies and even earlier, in the British music industry. He denies any wrong doing.
"All kinds of things went on - and I do mean young girls throwing themselves at them in the dressing rooms at concert halls, at gigs, whatever. They never asked for anybody's birth- certificate and they were young lads..." he has said.
I do not make excuses for any genuine abuse and/or rape that these men might be guilty of. Children, women and men, young and old, should be protected from unwanted sexual attention.
I simply hope to present a balanced perspective on this issue.
We are products of our society. The one I live in now is very different from the one I lived in as a young girl. It's very hard to judge past behaviours through a modern-day lens.
Retrospective justice is not necessarily 'just'.
We used to drive without seatbelts! It was dangerous. But armed with that knowledge now, should we hunt down every bare-back driver from three decades ago, lock them up and throw away the key? These men may have done wrong, but I want to be one of the girls who stands up and says - quite unashamedly - that I accept responsibility for my own part in that behaviour.
Follow Nikki McWatters on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@nikkimcwatters
Louise Pennington: Jimmy Savile Did Not 'Groom the Nation'
Jimmy Savile - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
BBC News - Jimmy Savile abuse: Number of alleged victims ...
Savile police arrest fourth star over sex offences - Daily Record
Savile quiz: Star is named online - The Sun
Jimmy Savile | Media | The Guardian
Jimmy Savile accused of 31 rapes as police warn of more child abuse arrests
Jimmy Savile abuse: Number of alleged victims reaches 450
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Jimmy Savile Suspected Of 199 Crimes, UK Police Say
LONDON: UK police: Jimmy Savile is suspect in 199 crimes - People Wires ...
Seriously ... can't you see the hypocrisy of what you're saying? If you can't, perhaps my satirical statement above is too close to the truth.
No wonder that we live in a rape culture, indeed, when women can so casually and publicly impose their sexual will on children, and can be counted on to do so. It disgusts me.
I'm a man in my mid-40s. I've heard stories from friends who worked as teachers in their 20s that would make your hair stand on end - of aggressively flirtatious teenage girls placing teachers in compromising positions that could threaten careers, not to mention potential criminal charges.
I work in a sector of the entertainment business where I sometimes find myself working alongside teenagers. I've been on the receiving end of awkward crushes (including one-sided, amorous e-mails from a 15-year-old which threatened to cause a minor storm in my marriage) and earlier this year I worked alongside a 16-year-old whose friendliness quickly crossed into overt flirtation with me and at least two other adult colleagues in their 20s. This girl eventually told me that she had previously lied about her age when dating men well into their 20s. (Before anyone accuses me - no, nothing happened.)
Some girls do this sort of thing and it's pointless pretending they don't. Will she regret it when she's older? Perhaps. I have no idea. As she told me herself, she "likes to play with fire" - I gave her the obvious warning about not getting burnt, but I don't think she's likely to take it to heart.
As a boy, I became interested in sex by about the age of 5. I met a pedophile when I was 9 and he was a positive influence in my life, always treating me with dignity and respect (and no, we never became intimate). The people who hurt me most were feminists and preachers and all the other people who taught me that sexuality was sinful or wrong - the people who did NOT treat me with dignity or respect but rather imposed their sexual will on me.
Having the right to say No implies a right to say Yes.
One writer's anecdotal positive experience shouldn't erase protections for other girls. Rape victims face enough stigma from society. Now if a minor gets raped, we're going to be hearing even more of "she threw herself at him!" as a defense.
Also, the line "they would do well to remember that by definition Bill Wyman, David Bowie, Jimmy Page, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis and many others - could by strict definition - be accused of child sex crimes" just INFURIATES me. So, because these famous people have committed rape then you'd rather say statutory rape isn't a problem than acknowledge that even famous people commit rape?
But, then again, I also have to feel slightly sad for Ms. McWatters. It is one thing to take some accountability for "hard lessons" that may have happened in the past. And no one wants to take on the label of victim -- especially "victim of rape/sexual abuse". But she isn't to blame; it's the people who took advantage of her youth and vulnerability at a time when society should have protected her. It still doesn't excuse her using her own rationalizations to potentially endanger other young girls,
In your final paragraph, you say "she isn't to blame". That's an interesting statement, because it doesn't seem to me that Nikki is looking to apportion blame to anyone for anything. She's merely describing some experiences she participated in - willingly, as she says herself - and pointing out how radically the way those experiences are perceived by society at large has changed in the intervening years, even though people (and the drives and desires they are subject to) have not.
That is, I understand where she's coming from -- people have a psychological desire to not feel victimized; people often reinterpret abuse or situations out of their control as consensual mistakes-- but I think that she is very, very wrong.
Pre-contraceptive days, these actions really couldn't happen without consequences. Marriage was the cornerstone of society, adultery was punishable under law, minors sexual nature was retrained and so forth. Even after contraceptives came into use, only married couples were permitted by law to obtain them.
The western world simply threw common sense and good judgement to the wind and said abortion and contraceptions for all. The entire western world is in freefall social collapse, with the state as the new father/husband and even God. Where once the father was the moral center of the house and if he needed guidance he went to the local pastor. Now a days everyone is their own moral center and if a question of morality arises the state is the higher authority. We pat ourselves on the back for being progressive, when it's really regressing back to our animal nature.
Girls might mature quicker than boys in some ways (emotionally at least) for a while and fantasize about relationships/sex/etc, that does'nt mean they are looking for a relationship.
I have known and still know a few of these so called female 'hunters' and seen them live to regret hasty decisions based on what could be, rather than the reality of the situation.
Men and women both enjoy healthy loving relationships, but it takes time and understanding on both sides to acheive a healthy balance around not only personal interests and 'drives' but peer pressure, life, work, children and everything else, that type of experience is not in place until a person has lived a little, in my case a lot.
So, girls, remember its hormonal, It'll pass, lads, hang on a few years until the girls are ready, and anyone else, don't - it invariable leads to a painful wake up call down the line and a lot of heartache when you finally realise your simply not on the same page in life.
A young person (or an old person) may regret some of their decisions, but will they regret them less if some of the people they once cared about are thrown in jail for returning their affection?