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Get The Look - Trump's Re-Style Will Change The World

29/11/2016 12:44

2016 is the year that will re-style the world and make Vogue's 'September issue' look nothing short of an A6 flyer for a backwater boutique.

It's more than a trend. It's a movement. And it's going global.

Over the past year we've seen revolutions and referendums, elections and investigations, heard right wing rhetoric and felt reactionary rage.

With a deft scissoring slice, it seems that continents across the globe could be cut, cropped and coloured by an ever changing political landscape that is dominated by fear, distrust and propaganda, leaving many longing to step inside a time machine and escape from this almost unreal, reality.

Our love affair with false reality has, of course, dominated the entertainment industry for over a decade and our unashamed fascination with scripted reality television shows, has propelled the most unlikely of candidates into positions power, influence, and yes, global domination.

So let me take you back in time, to where it all began. Fire up the engines. Strap yourself in. But I can't promise you're going to like the trip.

It's 2004 and 28.1 million viewers are tuned in to The Apprentice season one finale in nervous anticipation of discovering who would make the cut, and who hear that infamous phrase 'YOU'RE FIRED', uttered from the pursed pink lips of billionaire tycoon, Donald John Trump.

Fast forward 12 years and it seems almost unbelievable that Trump would himself, be in the firing line, only this time it was the American electorate doing the hiring and firing on a presidential scale.

But the decision was made. Trump was hired. And now we sit in the barber's chair at the hands of someone who has never held the scissors before.

Trump's improbable victory over seasoned rival Hilary Clinton shocked global leaders, citizens and pollsters alike.

In the video sketch 'Girl left as Speechless as Melania Trump in Barbershop Blunder' satirical as it may be, I mirror the sentiments of many Trump voters, who were sick of being dictated to and felt ignored and undervalued by previous administrations:

'I've heard it all before, what to do, how to think, what to say, but this time it's my time...I want my voice to be heard.'


This feeling of disenfranchisement and alienation from those who govern is a trend that has been mirrored across the globe. It's evident in the UK's shock exit from the EU, in the rise to popularity of France's National Front, headed by Marine Le Pen and in the increasingly alarming prominence of alt-right movements.

The re-style is happening and it's on a global scale.

Now, expert fashion forecaster I do not claim to be. I freely admit that my regular 'stylist', is in fact my Auntie Dee, a scissoring specialist in poodle pom-poms, and that my last major re-style was as a result of my entanglement with the lit sparkler, I was exuberantly brandishing after one too many mulled wines.

However, despite my own apparent aversion to style, it would be foolish of me to dismiss new fashion trends as worthless or inconsequential.

Style development marks change in thoughts and ideas; it documents the evolution of cultures and reflects societal progression.

Therefore the rise to power of a over-combed horror of dye and lacquer, on the head of an animated tangerine, is much more significant than most Donald Trump hair memes would have you think.

Retro is back.

Regression is the new progression.

After all, not only did the American people reject the election of the first female US president, in her place, they chose a conservative white male whose negative attitudes to gender equality, racial integration and equal employment opportunity are nothing short of prehistoric.

It's clear that Trump's right wing policies and unstoppable language unite those who feel neglected by society and government, those who have struggled financially since the economic crisis of 2007, those who feel at threat from the terror of the unknown, and most significantly, those who feel their country has been taken from them.

What is perhaps less obvious to Trump's supporters is that his central promise to 'make America great again' does nothing but strip away the nation's core identity of a melting pot society, and mocks the words imprinted on the statue of liberty which proclaim:

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Trump's America is no longer 'the land of the free.'

So with the leader of the not-so-free world inciting polarisation, and government leaders like the UK's foreign minister, Boris Johnson, suggesting that we should stop the '"the collective whinge-o-rama" and accept the election results without dispute, where are we left?

Saddled with a dip dyed bowler cut? A slicked back mullet? A poodle-esq perm? (thanks Auntie Dee)

The answer, like the future, for we freethinking global citizens, is uncertain. However, one thing is for sure, it's going to take more a hastily purchased home dye kit to rectify the haircut horror of this Presidential appointment.

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