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The Five Golden Rules For Throwing A Divorce Party

24/05/2017 12:00 BST | Updated 24/05/2017 12:00 BST

For everyone from your neighbour to the latest A list celebrity, divorce parties are the latest way to mark the end of your marriage. Some are large, extravagant with lots of friends and family attending, whilst others are small and intimate.

Whichever your preference they can be a hugely empowering event and really help you move forward with your life BUT only if done in the right way.

A divorce party is a great way to mark your new beginning. However, it's important to make sure that you have the right intentions behind it. If done in the right way it will be a positive and rewarding experience. If done in the wrong way, the downside is that it can increase bitterness, hurt and leave you feeling even worse about your break-up.

So leave the voodoo dolls behind and create an event that is a constructive step forward for you. Here are my five golden rules you need to know to plan your divorce party:

The 5 Divorce Party Golden Rules:

  1. Make it fun and a positive, uplifting event. The focus of the event should be on your future, not your sad story, your ex or the past. It should be a celebration of you letting go and moving forward.
  2. Invite family and friends who have supported you throughout your break-up and take this as an opportunity to thank them. Show your appreciation and let them know how much it has meant to you.
  3. This is your chance to publicly commit to your new goals and a fresh new start in life in front of people who will help hold you to them, and maintain your momentum.
  4. Reflect your personality and your budget. This is your event so make sure you put your own stamp on it. It doesn't have to be a large and expensive event so don't get carried away with the party side, focus more on your message and outcome.
  5. Plan this event to be a positive marker in your life as the moment you announced to the world your new life plan. It's the start of your redesigned life so make sure you spend the time to work out what you want (and don't want) as there is no going back after this!

Divorce gives you the perfect opportunity to redesign your life just the way you want it. Spend some time before your divorce party working out how you want your life to be. List out the things you want to do less or completely stop doing, the people you don't want in your life anymore and anything that is holding you back. Also, write a list of the things you want more of in your life and want to spend more time doing. Think hard about what you enjoy, the things that make you smile and the people who make you feel good about yourself and make sure they form a large part of your plan.

Now from these lists, work out your top 5 goals that you are committed to achieving, both short term and long term goals. It's key to break them down into manageable chunks and work on them one step at a time as this way you keep your momentum and are continually moving towards the goals.

Small steps every day add up to a huge leap forward in just a month or two. If you read these out and commit publicly to doing these goals by a certain date it will help you to stick to them and keep on track.

Above all, your divorce party should be fun! It's your party and a way to remember the good times but also mark the letting go of the relationship in a positive way. Learn the lessons you need to make you stronger and leave the hurt and pain behind. By surrounding yourself with loving and caring friends and family who will support you in this next exciting phase of your life.