THE BLOG

My Bipolar Bag Of Sunshine

07/07/2015 15:05 BST | Updated 06/07/2016 10:59 BST

I think it's a privilege to experience hypo mania. I'm lucky as I don't go out and spend money I don't have nor do I rack up thousand's on credit cards, but what I do experience is feeling like I'm on top of the world stood on a mountain with my arms out as the wind flows throw my fingers. What may affect one may not affect another and vice versa. Example: I don't exaggerate my sense of self-importance nor do I think I may next in line for the throne. Not everybody has the same traits of bipolar disorder.

Sleep? Define that when I am like this! If I do get sleep on a night visualise this: I randomly wake then I'll wake my partner up as an overwhelming sense of excitement will overcome me. I will start singing the likes of 'Sonique' - "Your Love It feels so Good" to him in an overzealous manner, I may even sing do it out of the window!

I once offered him a pillow fight which he gave into with me following it up by bouncing up and down on the bed, then moving on by talking nothing but utter rubbish as the words out of my mouth flowed so fast like that of a professional commentator. My words can't come out quick enough and nobody can but in whilst I speak. I express myself loudly enough to him when he is asleep so I make sure he can hear me, so he wakes up to see how excited I am about the day ahead if something epic is on the agenda, or I may pull the bed linen off him and think it's hilarious! He thinks it's funny, but not all of the time! I may do this when an event in my diary may not be happening for another month. I try to be considerate but I can't help feeling like a kid in a sweet shop! I love it when I'm like this. I can't keep it up 24/7 and when I do wake from having had some sleep I look completely 'dug up'. I say to myself "Oh, that's it then!" (Meaning 'oh no') in the mirror as a somewhat (I think is an) unbelievably frightful sight stares back at me! I can't refrain from doing what I have mentioned even though I try.

My partner says that I portray myself to be fireproof, indestructible and intense.

I adore the highs, the excitement which feels like a mass amount of adrenalin flowing through my veins faster than the speed of sound, the delightful feeling of wanting to scream to the world and shout how happy I am and wave my arms about like something not right like an octopus with eight tentacles, or I may have a desire to run down the street to burn off excess energy! I'm very constructive so much so that I do all of my chores in one day! Yes this is I. I am talking everything from spring cleaning the whole house to going to the gym, doing the food shopping and maybe even all of my paperwork too. You may do all of this as well but I do it on a mission as though I have only a few hours to do it in, and I will get it done in those few hours too, just like a 'Formula 1' driver going around a track as fast as humanely possible!

I'm easily fascinated and easily stimulated. You're not alone. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster or on a 'bipolar express' train which won't run out of steam. However at some point that steam has to run out and it will hit me so hard I will be the opposite of what I've explained here. I'll present as that of my other write up for the Huffington Post titled "Bipolar Day Is Everyday"

I'm happy when I'm feeling glad, I'm very constructive, I feel like I have got sunshine in a bag and I'm hopeful for the future, bring it on! I'm in overdrive, I'm passionate, I interpret every song I hear and I'll write for England. I can't sit still; my thoughts are going a billion miles an hour. I have hallucinated but only due to being completely in overdrive which has happened twice in my life. Everything I sense, see, hear, smell is heightened, I'm very observant, and as a result my senses are sharper than a steak knife. However, my lack of concentration and the ability to take things in do affect me as I am not like a sponge that soaks up water so I don't easily take in information when in this state of mind. This coupled with lows can be exhausting.

I live in the front row, not the third. Welcome to my world.

Facebook: Sharon Sutton

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