Here's a happy thought.
What if THIS was the end? Something major happened today, some kind of massive world event, be it an alien invasion or an apocalyptic act of God, that meant that society and the planet itself was suddenly crumbling around us.
What would you do? Who would you want to stranded with? Who would you want to spend the last few hours or days of your life with?
This Is The End, which is available to buy and rent on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK from November 4 2013, made me think about this.
For those who don't know, This Is The End is a pant-wettingly funny comedy about a number of Hollywood stars - Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride and Craig Robinson plus a host of celebrity mates - who get together to attend a party at James Franco's Los Angeles home.
Unfortunately it coincides with Los Angeles is struck by a series of disasters and it very quickly become apparent that the apocalypse is very much on the way... but how will they survive? Will they survive at all?
Needless to say, this is not a documentary although they do play themselves - with their tongues firmly in their cheeks.
So, taking my wife and my best mates etc out of the equation, if I WAS stuck in a house or a bunker as the world ends, who would I want in there with me?
Here, in no particular order, is my shortlist.
1. Pet Shop Boys
Whether you're a child of the 80s or just love a storming pop tune, how could you ever get bored of their music? With a back catalogue like theirs, the endless remixes and quirky yet catchy B-sides you'd never run out of top tunes whether you wanted to chill out or party.
2. Stephen Fry
There are few people on this planet who would have a stock of anecdotes, informed opinions and a perspective on pretty any subject that you would care to mention as solid as Stephen Fry. Plus, he's just so lovely that why wouldn't you WANT to hang out with him day in, day out?
3. Martin Scorcese
Here's there for pretty much the same reasons as Stephen Fry. Also, if the world doesn't end after all you would want someone who would be able to make a movie out of it that is not only dramatic but also stylish and with gravitas. We hope he wouldn't bring a Blu-ray of Hugo with him but we would expect him to bring his mother's recipe for Lemon Chicken because, apparently, it is amazing.
4. Boris Johnson
Even if you don't agree with his views, watching him try to form order out of chaos like some sort of endearing, slightly befuddled, very posh and well meaning bear cub will give you endless hours of entertainment. Just thinking about it has me both shaking my head yet also grinning broadly!
5. Sarah Silverman
Her dry, caustic wit would never get old. The good thing is that because her humour is so edgy, if she appeared to be picking on you wouldn't be able to tell if it was because she thought you were a tool or if she thought you were good fun and able to take it as a kind of friendly banter. Also, you'd probably be laughing too hard to actually care either way.
6. Angela Hartnett
One of the best chefs in the world and you're going to need someone who can make a feast out of cereal, soy sauce and the tears of despair. While Nigella Lawson could make a lentil sound erotic, we doubt she could make it taste as good as Angela could. Plus, Angela is a protégé of Gordon Ramsey so I have no doubt that when the shiitake hit the fan, her swearing would be world class and that would amuse us.
These would be dark times. Is there anyone on the planet that could be as unrelentingly positive or life affirming as Elmo? He'd be there to talk you up and talk you down and mend any rift that developed in the group with wise words and hug. Sure, it might get annoying from time to time but also think how funny it would it be to see him drunk?
8. Nile Rodgers
The man IS music. From disco to Daft Punk, there is nothing this man can't do when it comes to musical entertainment. He literally never misses a beat. Damn it, he IS the beat. Plus, you'd have to give the Pet Shop Boys some time off because otherwise their constant stream of electropop genius would drain the generator.
9. Dame Judi Dench
One of the, if not THE, greatest actors of our time and also, we imagine, huge fun and endlessly interesting. She's also got a twinkle in her eye. As classy and as elegant as she is we imagine she also likes to let her hair down and enjoys a cheeky sherry or two. That said, when required, could take control and do what needed to be done. If she wasn't available we'd take Helen Mirren or Emma Thompson.
10. Chuck Norris
He's Chuck Norris. You need another reason?
So who would you want in your bunker if the apocalypse came be it alien, zombie or just nature going 'WTF?!'?
Watch This Is The End, or if you've seen it already then watch it again, and have a good think.
But think fast because you never know when the end is nigh.... however hilarious it might actually be.
This Is The End is available in the UK to buy and rent on Blu-ray, DVD and download, from November 4 2013.
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