THE BLOG

It's Not All About Notches on Bedposts: The Abstaining Student's Guide to Getting Through

29/08/2014 14:38 BST | Updated 28/10/2014 09:59 GMT

In a couple of weeks time a lot of you will be embarking on a new, exciting and nerve inducing chapter of life: starting university. And while it seems that the first few weeks, or even the first year is all about sticking it to the man and celebrating not having to live under your parents' rules; there's a lot more to moving away from the place you've grown up and being independent than being able to sleep with whoever, whenever and however you want.

I am about to start my second year as a student, therefore I have seen firsthand how crazy it gets when you're all living on top of each other in accommodation. There is always a morning after debrief of who slept with who, how good they were and whether it would happen again. I am also, unlike a lot of my friends, at the same number of sexual partners I was when I started university: a grand total of zero. I am not in any way shaming those who sleep around and enjoy it, to each their own; but I just wanted to reassure any nervous students that it is not the end of the world to be at the bottom of the sex chart in your flat/house/whatever.

Starting university is not just about how many people you can get into bed with in your first year, and that is not made clear enough all too often these days. There is so much pressure between peer groups to get a leg over and win 'lad points' with your friends, and it's how you handle that which will set the bar for how you survive at university. For me, I have no problem with living in a house with people who will sleep with whomever they want; it's a personal choice just as I have chosen not to sleep with anyone at all. I will join in with the innuendos and banter about what they get up to and never judge anyone based on their partner number, and in return nobody cares either way what I choose to do with my vagina.

The bottom line is that you don't have to compromise yourself to fit in here, you don't. Do whatever you are comfortable with and not an inch more, it's about making memories not regrets (although some regrets make for good stories). People will not like you any more or less depending on whether you sleep with people or not, and those who base their opinion of you around that are not people you need to keep company with. Above all else respect yourself, and the rest will follow.

If you have any questions feel free to tweet me!